New York Fashion Week: Worst Sports Uniforms

Worst Sports Uniforms? Canucks compete.

NEW YORK, NY – Fashion Week just ended and seamlessly leads into tonight’s Oscars Awards, ceremony where all on the red carpet will be strutting duds from the biggest names in fashion. I won’t ever be mistaken for a Bob Mackie or Ralph Lauren but when it comes to sports wardrobe faux pas, here are some fashion statements sure to make Mr. Blackwell’s worst-dressed list.

Vancouver Canucks (1978-85) Quite possibly the worst effort ever made for a jersey design. Ever. The organization actually paid $100k for a company to brainstorm the large multi-color “V” that ran from the collarbone to about the belly-button. Think of it as a late disco deep v-neck jump suit with the most egregious color pattern–orange and yellow ‘v’ on the black road jersey and orange and black letter on the home yellow. Yuck.

canuVancouver Canucks, Part Deux (1985-89) The team’s new hire behind the bench, Pat Quinn, had one immediate order of business and that was to retire the aforementioned uniform. Anything would have been a step in the right direction but were ridiculed for their skate in the wrong direction (down) option with the same color scheme. Judge for yourself.

Chicago White Sox: (August 1976) Bill Veeck was MLB’s version of P.T. Barnum and one of his ideas was to outfit his White Sox in Bermuda shorts for an August doubleheader. Players had mixed reactions to the shorts and won a protest by switching to long pants for the nightcap. Royals big first baseman John Mayberry would comment, “You guys are the sweetest team we’ve seen yet.” The Sox wore the shorts for one more game in late August, never to wear them again.

Philadelphia Flyers: (1981-83) The Flyers went to long pants for the 81-82 season and bought into the marketing ploy of the equipment manufacturer that the pants were lighter and would make players faster on ice. It did make things faster on ice especially when sliding into the boards. The NHL banned the pants in 1984 citing player safety.

Pittsburgh Steelers: (current “throwback” jerseys) Horizontal stripes are a fashion no-no for fat guys and when you’re talking football players, they are a different kind of big. The numbering on the jerseys also leave a lot to be desired and look like flip-over scoreboards numerals from camp basketball games.  I’m still not sure if they look more like bees or prison uniforms.  Time to do away with all throwback uniforms.

seals_whiteskatesCalifornia Golden Seals (1970-74) Charlie O. Finley also owned this NHL franchise while owning the Swingin’ A’s during their three-year baseball dynasty.  Always an outside-the-box thinker, Finley’s A’s wore white cleats and thought his hockey team should do the same.  Figure skates were white and came in ladies sizes, so a black hockey skate had to be painted white and to remain white would be painted over and over again.  Seals players despised the painted boots because by season’s end they were quoted as saying the skates were like ten pound weights. Finley sold the team in ’74 and the white skates were forever retired.

Come back tomorrow for a man that wears a white roller-skates like nobody’s business, West Coast Craig.

P.s… There have been some interesting fashion choices on MTM:

P.s.s…. Happy Birthday to our beloved Cookie!!!

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About Cheesy Bruin 491 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.