NORTH POLE – Post-holiday blues got you down? Well, things are only getting worse as the curtain closes today on another NFL season. As Bob Seger sings, “It seems like yesterday… but it was long ago,” that I broke poorly out of the gates – only to salvage my reputation as the World Wide Web’s leading NFL prognosticator over the last month. The playoffs start next week but there is still money to be made on the final sixteen game slate. So sans further ado, here are my money-in-ihe-bank, Free NFL Picks.
Okay, you overindulged on food and booze the last week and find your pants tighter, an alcohol toxicity level that would still fail a Breathalyzer test and a child-like sugar-high from all those deserts. It’s time to purge or just fast for a day while you watch today’s games.
Waking up at 11:00 a.m., you make the coffee, walk the dog (I’m talking about you Short Matt), and kiss the wife. There’s little thought given to football but you trust me to do the heavy lifting. The 1 o’clocks are appetizers to today’s feast.
It’s an oddity, as both locals have early starts. One game has great significance (Jets @Buffalo), while the other (Philthy@Giants) means nothing to the playoff landscape. Sometimes you have to unearth motivation on Week #17 picks and the Giants fit the bill: win and they avoid a ten-loss campaign, Coach Tom Coughlin is apparently set to resign, and Odell Beckham wants to end his season on a positive note after the shenanigans two weeks ago. The Eagles folded up there tents a month ago and finally fired Chip Kelly and have their travel plans already in order. They would have trouble beating Alabama right now. Coughlin goes out a winner and on top of his players shoulder pads.
GIANTS -5 over Philadelphia for $500 bucks. Yes, you can say I like them today!
With a win and lots of help, the Colts have an extremely small chance of extended their season. The Horseshoes also finish at .500 with a win. The Tennessee Titans are a loss away from solidifying the top pick in the draft as the NFL’s worst team. I’m not saying there’s a lack of competitive integrity but at times losing is a reward and losing a game is far easier than winning, especially when you throw out Zach Mettenburger to lead the charges. I don’t even know who is under center for the Colts today but lay the wood. The Titans are that bad. $250 on INDIANAPOLIS -6 over Tennessee.
Don’t blow your winnings in Nova Scotia to see a total eclipse of the sun. Spend that dough on a few late games and the Sunday Nighter. The Chargers have covered four straight on the road but look like a flat team despite the efforts of their quarterback. The Broncos are still in playoff seeding confusion and also want to win the AFC West. The point spread is calling for a blowout and I’ll lay the bundle for $500. DENVER -9 over San Diego
The last game of the day will determine the winner of the NFC North. Angry Ward correctly thinks a Vikings loss sets up a more favorable match-up in the opening playoff round. I’m only concerned with the amount of points the Packers and Vikes score in this game. Strictly a $200 hunch: GREEN BAY/Minnesota OVER 45.5