Lakers Ball Drop, China, Cuba, Iran and Japan at War over Little Chinese Boy Yu Darvish?

Gurriel, Meet_The_Matts 920x920

KILLINGTON, VT – The last thing you’d expect to see while sipping a Long Trail Pale Ale at Casey’s Caboose in this quaint New England setting, is a potential for World War III to start – and not have President Trump involved at all! But that’s what may have happened last night, when a dopey kid from Cuba made a huge boo-boo by doing slant-eyes on national television. Oh, and the Lakers dropped their Ball. Let’s take a gander…

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Calling All Cubanos: In case you didn’t know it, a slant-eyed gesture is not Kosher in these parts. And by these parts, we’re talking all 52 states (includes Puerto Rico and Guam). Further, calling a guy that’s Japanese and Iranian Chinito,” is a grande problema. See, Chinito means “little Chinese boy.” You can use this term affectionately or to start a fight. Your call. After hitting a tater off of Yu Darvish last night, Houston Astros first baseman Yuli Gurriel was definitely not being endearing. In fact, as per the above Yellow Journalism, he potentially committed a War Crime.  Did we mention Darvish’s daddy is Iranian?! Run for the [Hollywood] hills, Yuli! And by the way, Yu is short for Yuli. Oh, the irony!

The Los Angles Lakers benched Lonzo Ball… on his birthday! And they benched the rest of the starters as well. You know why?  Because they sucked! And THAT, is great!

That’s it from Dartmouth – where we are now for the Dartmouth vs Harvard rugby match on the Ivy League NetworkShort Matt handling the color commentary. Come back tomorrow for a man that’s been called a “darvish” more than once, Cheesy Bruin.

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About Matt McCarthy 373 Articles
Matt McCarthy, is the MTM founder and consequently wears many hats: Director, Editor, Writer, Web guy and Podcaster... Also known as Short Matt, he's also a two-bit actor, voice-over pro, rugby, baseball and ice hockey player and likes hazelnut coffee with rice milk, while strolling in the sand, listening to foreign films... Matt also moonlights on MTM spin-off,, often wearing a wig and glasses while butchering a Kiwi accent.