Stamford, CT: Hello May. The month where Mets’ fans realize their team isn’t that good. This weekend we’ll have insufferable hipsters saying “May the 4th be with you” and falling down drunk on Cinco de Mayo. But I’m still thinking about the most intriguing NFL draft in years, and I have a few knee-jerk reactions. Knee-jerks are different from hot takes, FYI.
New York Giants
I’ve read all the economic reasons why the Giants should have passed on Saquon Barkley, and they were convincing. But funk it dude, sometimes you just gotta keep it simple and take the best football player.
And the pick looked a lot better when they were able to grab the second best guard in the draft. Hey, we have half a line!
Speaking of the missing half, where the hell is Ereck (Wall) Flowers? Dude, your career is on the line. Get your ass to camp.
I love the Giants first four picks, but I don’t understand the second DT when they already have Snacks and Tomlinson and are moving to a 3-4. I know teams want to rotate D linemen but how many DTs do you need?
The QB seems an odd choice as well, if they’re in win now mode. He seems like a luxury pick when they didn’t have the luxury. I would have liked to see some secondary help, but maybe they think they got a real steal.
But if they can somehow Dr. Frankenstein together a right side of the O-line, the offense is going to be legit. Odell, Saquon, Engram, Shepard, pick your poison.
And Dez Bryant? I know that’s too much crazy on one side of the ball and it won’t happen. But it would be an interesting fit, pairing the big possession receiver with the big play threat Odell, with Engram and Shepard working the middle. Dez and Odell are working out together and Dez might be angry enough to take a lowball offer to play the Cowboys twice next year.
The Brownies are getting a lot of crud, but I wouldn’t underestimate Mayfield. The guy walked on and smoked scholarship QBs at elite programs twice. So what if he’s a touch short and got sacked by the cops. This guy is no Johnny Manziel.
I know they probably could have taken Barkley and still gotten him at four. But what if the Giants, seeing their man Barkley gone, traded down to Denver or something? Denver takes Darnold and the Jets take Mayfield. With their history, the Browns couldn’t risk it if they loved Baker.
And look at all these weapons; Josh Gordon, Jarvis Landry, Carlos Hyde, David Njoku, Duke Johnson, Corey Coleman and Nick Chubb. Damn son. And in case you missed it, Todd Haley is the offensive coordinator. Manziel could make that work.
If things go well, the Browns could really improve on their win total from last season.
New York Jets
So I guess this means Hackenberg and Darnold will battle for the job this summer? Maybe not. The Jets plan to “suckforSam” somehow worked, even though they didn’t suck that badly.
If I’m nitpicking, I’d be a little worried about Darnold’s Luis Tiant delivery and his propensity for crumbling under third down pressure last season. I’ve heard they blitz in the NFL on occasion. But those shortcomings are surely overcome by having a Marlboro Man grandfather named Dick Hammer. That’s a few points on anyone’s draft board.
Take away Darnold, and the Jets didn’t seem to come away with a lot. They took high risk, high reward players at DT and TE. But this draft was all about Sam, and he should spend the next year on the bench sponging McCowniam wisdom. Jets fans will be calling for him to play by October.
It’s easy to see why none of Rosen’s UCLA teammates came to his birthday party. We have a new champion in the most punchable face contest.
The guy was whining after the draft like Commodus killed his wife and son.
I will have my vengeance of the nine teams that passed on me, in this life or the next.
Dude, you only fell to 10th. You landed on a team with Larry Fitzgerald and David Johnson. Settle down.