TURD CITY, USA – We’re through NFL Week 10 and the cream is rising to the top. Or in the case of the NY teams, the fecal matter is sinking to the bottom. Look out Giants, the Jets elbowed their way back into the race for the City’s foulest pile of dung, with a massive stinker against the Bills.
BYE BOWLES
Todd Bowles was probably fired by the time you read this. The Jets will surely try to follow the Rams formula by finding a young, offensive-minded coach to nurture the young Mr. Darnold. Sam was last seen throwing four picks, including a pick six for the game’s only TD, to a crappy Dolphins team. Is it too early to call him Samchize? (Copyright, Ben Whitney.)
But Samchize was lucky to miss the game against the Bills, who had looked so helpless that the Jets D was a recommended streamer in fantasy this week. Thanks for that minus 7, jerks. But the Jets made fourth stringer Matt Barkley look like an All-Pro and LeSean McCoy look sprightly.
Was Saquon the Guy?
A lot of people think the Giants made a mistake by drafting Saquon, a win now pick, over a QB. Well, they’re not winning now, so maybe he wasn’t the right pick. But what if the QBs they passed on don’t amount to a hill of Trent Dilfers?
I know it’s early and their teams have fewer weapons than the Costa Rican army, but I don’t know if I’m ready to pencil in Darnold, Rosen, or Allen as ten-year starters just yet. Sure, they might develop, but what if passing on the QBs and Saquon was the way to go?
Quentonational House of Pancakes
Maybe the right guy was this guy, described pre-draft as a “generational guard prospect” and called by Colts GM Chris Ballard “the easiest pick I’ve ever made.”
Check out that link to the screaming block above. Boom. You want some syrup on that pancake?
I can imagine what was going through that guy’s head when he saw that 320 pound beast running towards him, screaming like a berserker. That could not have been fun to watch in the film room.
I’d like to be described as “generational” at anything once in my life. I think my best change right now is something like “Ben is a generational talent at toggling to other shows between football plays.” I feel like I’ve made this joke before. Moving on.
Revamped OL Pays Dividends for Colts
The Colts doubled down by taking guard Braden Smith in the second round, and alacazam!, they’re the top 6 team in points per game. Sure, they got some guy called Luck back at QB, but don’t screw up my narrative.
Luck is not running for his life and getting his internal organs lacerated anymore. The Colts have given up only 10 sacks, the second fewest to the Saints, and are in the bottom third in QB hits allowed. This is all despite being tied for fourth in most pass attempts and not having anything resembling an established running back for most of the season while Marlon Mack was hurt.
Drafting a guard at number two is about as sexy as Trump and Stormy going at it in a Grand Central Station bathroom while going number two. But this just in, offensive lines are important.
What If?
If the Giants had taken Nelson and stayed with Hernandez, I’ll bet they’d have more than one (or two, depending on the outcome of Monday’s MEGA BOWL on MNF) win. I’ll bet there would be a lot less talk about pushing Eli out the door after this season. I’ll bet Odell would have more than two TDs.
Don’t get me wrong, they wouldn’t be good. And I’m a fan of Saquon. I’m just saying there were other ways to go besides a QB or Barkley. Before the draft Gettleman wouldn’t shut up about “Hog Mollies,” but he only ended up taking one.
Now What?
Early in the year it looked like Oregon’s Justin Herbert was a lock to be the top QB in the draft. As the Jets pulled off a successful #suckforSam tank job, I was prepared to launch a similar #packitinforJustin campaign. Or maybe#horribleforherbert?
But now his stupid younger brother, a hot shot TE, has committed to Oregon. So Justin isn’t likely to pass up the chance to zing it to his little bro, and will likely stay in school for his senior year. What a selfish jerk!
The rest of the QB lot coming out isn’t looking all that great. With Eli all but certain to be gone, we might end up seeing someone like Teddy Bridgewater as a stop gap. Bridgewater is a great name for a bridge QB, so he’s got that going for him. But this hole might be deeper than we thought.
That’s my time. Come back tomorrow for Angry Ward, Shannon Tweed’s towel boy in Hot Dog, the Movie. Follow us on Twitter at @BenWhit8, @MeetTheMatts, @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.
