Replacement Friday: The Worst Week in Sports

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MUTTONTOWN, RI – Happy Friday to you my friends. I have been racking my head for days and I’ve come up with very little to talk about. Why? Because this is possibly The Worst Week in Sports. There is literally nothing of note going on at all. I mean, people are talking about a heavyweight boxing match! I didn’t think the heavyweight division even existed since the ’90’s… Much like the New York Knicks, it may exist in a parallel universe somewhere but it is certainly not on anyone’s radar anymore than professional bowling or rodeo.

Speaking of rodeo, how is it okay that Madison Bumgarner isn’t in violation of his contact by participating in professional rodeo events under an alias? I think The Cespedes Precedent (starring Denzel Washington) should apply here as well. It’s pretty easy to break an ankle running to barrel when a steer is chasing you down, no? I mean Aaron Boone had his contract voided for playing pick up basketball. Surely this qualifies? Didn’t he have a dirt bike injury a few seasons back too? Why isn’t there an investigation?

Meet_The_Matts, Knicks, Mets, Giants, Dave_Gettleman, Trevor_Herrick

Happy to see the boo birds and sign holders out in force in the initial televised Mets spring training game against the Astros. Will enjoy seeing that all season long. Not happy to see that Edwin Diaz looks exactly like he did last year. Time to let go of the fantasy he will ever perform in a Met uniform. He will be great in Cleveland or Detroit in exchange for a bag of beans.

NY GIANTS GM

Dave Gettleman says he’s open for business to trade down from the 4th pick and gain more draft capital. I’m pretty sure he’s full of it. Why would he start doing anything sensible now? I’m sure he’ll convince himself whoever he picks would have been gone two slots later. When the NFL combine is must see TV all hope in humanity is truly lost.

How is Mel Kiper still a thing?

Now that Zion Williamson had recovered from his early season injury he has made me extremely mad he’s not in NY. He looks like a cross between Larry Johnson and Magic Johnson, with a little baby Shaq mixed in. He is far better than the hype suggested and if he can actually stay healthy, he will dominate the sport. The Knicks will probably end up with the fist pick this year and be saddled with LaMelo Ball. Shoot me now.

That’s it kids til next time. Enjoy Short Matt’s Concussion Theatre of the Macabre tomorrow and be sure to chime in below.

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About the Author ()

Replacement Matt, aka Aussie Matt & Trevor Herrick, has been the Minnie Minoso of MTM from Day One. He's willingly been hit in the undercarriage by cricket balls, had beer poured on him from the upper deck and been handed the camera to hold for Tall and Short Matt on countless occasions. In many ways, he's been too valuable to start. But make no mistake, he'd be the headliner on any other bald guy's sports site!

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