FLU CENTRAL – As things go bat-sh!t crazy across the globe and NYC more resembles Snake Plissken’s version than Frank Sinatra’s in New York, New York, yours truly types this worried about the MTM Family. Today’s scheduled starter, Different Matt, is MIA. He also lives somewhere north of Bronxville, so he may be “on containment.” But the sports world keeps making decipherable gurgling sounds, heroically giving us something – anything – to talk about. Mixing the real with the hypothetical, we present, NFL Trades, Clayton Kershaw to Boston, Snake Plissken:
THE REAL
No, this isn’t some estrogen-fueled morning show. It’s more news from the front… The NFL front. A couple of transactions made me stir somewhat from my Judge Judy marathon: The St. Louis Rams of Los Angles are cutting ties (and 10+ million of his little green buddie$) with Todd Gurley and the Eagles (as Ben Whitney predicted yesterday) slayed one of their defensive deficiencies by clawing CB Darius Slay away from Detriot’s Lions. It’s a 3-year, $50 million extension that includes $30 million guaranteed. But back to the Gurley man… T-Gurl got a deal within Covid-19 panic-surge second, as the Dirty Birds of Atlanta swooped in to snatch him. This guy is 3X Pro Bowler and still only 25 years-old. Isn’t he worth more than a 1-year deal the with the Falcons? It’s not like he has some contagion or something. Too soon?
Okay, lets’ change gears and shift downhill for…
THE HYPOTHETICAL
Major League Baseball needs to start contributing like their fellow great Americans in the NFL executive offices. We are seeing extensions across the board, how about some Extended Hot Stove Stuff? And damnation, we can start it here. Here are some proposals to get you going:
Clayton Kershaw to Boston: The Dodgers and Red Sox have a history of bad trades involving big bucks – just ask Bobby Valentine. 
One more won’t hurt. Kershaw cannot and will not win in La La Land and desperately needs a change of scenery. Think Andy Reid. Sure, he’ll likely break down a year after he gets to Fenway but Chris Sale should be back from Tommy John surgery by then. And the Dodgers should/would be grateful just to unload C-Shaw’s contract. Jackie Bradley, Jr. could use a new zip code also. Do the Dodgers need him? No. But unloading Kershaw is something they need to do sooner than later. He will NOT overcome his post-season yips in Dodger Blue. Ever.
And finally…
SNAKE PLISSKEN
Reel life Snake, of course, is real life Kurt Russell. If you haven’t seen at least 10 movies with Kurt Russell in them, put them on your Covid-19 Playlist right now. Start with Escape from NY, Bone Tomahawk, Tombstone, then take to the ice with Miracle. Next in the queue should be The Battered Bastards Of Baseball. You will REALLY like that one. Russell was also one heckuva an athlete. He was hitting .563 in Double A when an injury short-circuited his career. These were in the days when that was an eye-opening average, mainly because there were so fewer times. Further, his son played pro hockey before going Hollywood full-time a couple of years ago.
That’s all for now. Take your oregano oil, don’t pick your nose and comment below. We’ll see you here tomorrow.
