STAMFORD, CT – I’m not sure I even miss sports anymore. I’ve settled into a solitary existence, mistrusting everyone except my family and passing the time stockpiling ammunition [kidding]. I am going to support the effort, led by Angry Ward, to spin-off MTM into a ’80s movie review site called Steel Mattnolias. I’ll kick if off with… Questions I have about Back to the Future, the ’80s classic.
Who doesn’t love this 80s romp about a regular kid who traveled back in time to find out his mother was a bit of tramp and he couldn’t order Pepsi Free because it didn’t exist yet? Pepsi what? What would the equivalent joke be today… a White Claw?
The Flaw of All Time Travel Movies
In The Terminator, supposedly the severed hand from the robot killer from the future is used to create Skynet; the evil computer that takes over the world. But if Skynet didn’t exist the first time through, how could it have sent the Terminator back to kill Sarah Connor? It only makes sense if you don’t think about it.
Back to the Future avoids this pitfall for the most part, except for the Chuck Berry gag. If Berry got his new sound from hearing Marty’s face melting guitar playing at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance, how could Marty have loved it as a teenager before he went back in time? Don’t be a jerk, it was funny.
Rape was only Frowned Upon in the ’80s
If we learned anything from 16 Candles and Revenge of the Nerds, it’s that tricking a girl to sleep with you or sleeping with a passed out drunk girl is fine if they end up liking it. It seems crazy now that not many really cared about this stuff at the time.
In BTTF, Biff attempts to rape Marty’s mother outside of the dance. Clearly Biff is doing a bad thing, but his friends and other students are all going to let it happen. He shouldn’t do it but it’s not like it’s a crime or anything. Get an adult, you idiots.
Gotta Have More Biff
I have to know, how did Biff end up as George McFly’s bitch? I mean, clearly McFly caught him with a lucky punch. Biff had given no indication in the rest of the movie that he would take getting knocked out by McFly without fighting back. I mean, the guy had a load of manure dumptrucked on him and it only made him more mad. Biff towers over McFly and would no doubt be looking for revenge. Surely Biff didn’t just accept that McFly was his superior and become immediately subservient?
There’s Biff honey. We wouldn’t be married if it weren’t for him. Remember he tried to rape you in the parking lot? Where does the time go?
Paging Dr. Freud
Marty’s girlfriend, who has a small role in the movie, looks a lot like Lea Thompson, who plays his Mom. Maybe it’s just the 80’s look that’s throwing me. Still, considering Marty kinda made out with his Mom when he went back in time, it’s a concern.
1984 Side Note
BTTF was released in 1985, but have you looked at a list of movies released in 1984? That had to be the best year in the history of cinema – Ghostbusters, Beverly Hills Cop, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Terminator, Revenge of the Nerds, Footloose, 16 Candles – the list goes on. It feels like almost every movie associated with the ’80s was made that year.
That’s it for me. Next week I might try to get back to sports. Or not. Come back tomorrow for a guy who thinks Booger wasn’t really nerdy, Angry Ward. Follow us on Twitter at @BenWhit8, @MeetTheMatts, @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.