Fans Hold Their Breath as Cowboys Cough, 49ers Sneeze – Except In Tulsa


SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Perhaps still subconsciously motivated to not be be outdone and/or whatever the Dallas Cowboys do long after both teams dated Deion Luwynn Sanders Sr. (aka Neon Deion and/or Prime Time), the 49ers are now #Covid Kids, too. So what’s the big deal?

Trump, Tulsa Rally, NFL Covid Cases, Zeke Elliot, 49ers, Cowboys, Meet_The_Matts, Matt_McCarthy

Every sports faneverywhere – should be holding their breath as each new hazmat suit is required for NFL stars and staff. Our very fandom is at stake! See, the latest casualties of the covert Coronavirus’ comeback are not just Cowboys (like Zeke Elliott) and San Franciscans. There are Broncos (Kareem Jackson) and Texans of Houston getting positive test results, too. Funny how positive test results are a negative, no? Anywho, this is disturbing news on many levels. Points to consider:


We live in an extremely diverse nation. Turn on the news and you see how Jeb in Utah and Warren in Massachusetts have polar opposite viewpoints on politics, quarantining and protesting. Those different ideologies will come into play (organic pun) with the NFL and other pro leagues for the reboot. The 49ers players subjected to their skeevatz  unnamed teammate, were practicing in Nashville. You think for a second that Charles in Frisco wants contaminated goods coming into his city or state? No flocking way. And you bet your sweet bippy that he wouldn’t want any of that hillbilly music in San Fran, either.

Charles from Frisco:


The President’s rally in Tulsa, which we can argue for days over whether it is more dopey or more desperate enterprise, could be the end of us all. Or not. The thing is we still know very little – or not nearly enough – about this cursed pox. We do know one thing, though: there is a certain profession that will make a bundle of this thing. [Drum-roll please]… Lawyers! They will start suing peoples bippie’s off for infecting their unwitting client. Tulsa is an example of this. People have to sign a waiver going into the arena. Fantastic. But has anyone thought about the people that will now be subjected/infected by the convention of volunteer test dummies? The latter have families and co-workers that didn’t go, didn’t sign any [bunk tile] waiver. They may be, however, collateral damage. Just wait for the massive number of “He/She gave me herpes Covid” cases coming to a theater near you!


IF the case cow that is the NFL is even considering not starting up – and they are seriously contemplating that very real concept – THEN other professional leagues will follow that path back into the dark hole of suspended or canceled seasons. No doubt. The money trail leads to playing. They desperately want to play. If they don’t, we know we even more in the shipth than we thought.

And there you have it. As Cowboys cough and 49ers sneeze, the rest of us are holding our breath… which cures all, by the way.

Please comment below and come back tomorrow for a man that simultaneously held his breath and bippy for 11 minutes on a dare, Cheesy Bruin.

Facebook Comments
Share Button

Filed in: FeaturedMatt McCarthy
Tagged with:

About the Author ()

Back to Top