NEW YORK, NY – Whoa, Nellie! What a big day this is! In less than 24 hours it will be that once-a-year event that we look so forward to, the one in which we vest so much of ourselves… Boxing Day!!! See what I did there?! Just kidding of course (sort of). Merry Christmas to all that partake and Sensational Saturday to those that are going to a comedy club and ordering Chinese! But really, any day we get to spend time together talkin’ sports and pandemic theories is special, so let’s continue that happy trend with a sprinkling of holiday spice on today’s entrees: Christmas Miracles [Sports Versions] and the Bear Bryant of College Rugby.
Christmas Miracles [Sports Versions] #1
Buck Showalter realizes he must reinvent himself to:
A) Endear himself to Mets fans that loathe his being hired to skipper the Mets’ always-lilting ship (like me)
B) Overcome the reality that he has never actually won a World Series despite having had some great rosters.
To that end, The Buckster, as he will be referring to himself in 3rd person, will be growing out a Randy Johnson-esque mullet and Burt Reynolds ’70s mustache. Further, he’ll be dying both jet black in a you’re-not-fooling-anyone fashion, as per his idols, the late/great Robert Goulet and Englebert Humperdinck.
None of it will matter, as the team will win despite him, as his new persona absorbs all media attention, freeing a relieved team to just play baseball. This is all predicated on a positive outcome of the the Robbie Cano situation.
Christmas Miracles [Sports Versions] #2
Robinson Cano retires from baseball, effective January 22 of 2022. Ironically, he’s due $22,000,000.00 from the Mets but to help trigger a 3rd Mets’ title run, he miraculously eats the remaining fortune on his contract for the sake of the… wait for it… Miracle Mets.
Christmas Miracles [Sports Versions] #3
The NY Giants trade a #1 picks and cash for Kirk Cousins but then immediately/stunningly trade him to the Buffalo Bills for Josh Allen and 3 #1 picks in the next NFL draft! This comes on the heals of Allen being sued by the Bills Mafia for permanently damaging one of their folding tables in a tail-gate table-dive… Oh, and the Jints ship Daniel Jones to the Cowboys for Micah Parsons and DeMarcus Lawrence.
Christmas Miracles [Sports Versions] #3
Mrs. Short Matt no longer has to endure angst-ridden rides in the 1998 Crown Vic, as per Rugby Wrap Up’s deal with Sheehy Auto Stores. WATCH THIS:
Merry Christmas, Baby! Love you… and @SheehyAuto. Now those @RugbyWrapUp/ @MeetTheMatts & @LeanandLimber jaunts won’t be so “challenging.” pic.twitter.com/jVCzdwKjLX
— Matt McCarthy (@Matt_McCarthy00) December 24, 2021
Seguing to rugby – which is alive and thriving, so get on board already… Here’s an interview with college rugby’s Bear Bryant, Jack Clark of Cal.
Happy and Healthy to you and yours, even if it’s just another Sensational Saturday!
P.S... A very special day to our MTM Staff and their families for their wit, passion and toil.
