Tag: Randy Johnson

Angry Ward: Baseball is Back, NHL Ready to Rumble, and Other Sports Thoughts

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BRONX, NY – As we all enter into summer like we’re serving out a prison sentence, I can’t help but chuckle at this site’s tagline: Where Sports Get Funny. Is there anything all that funny these days? I mean besides Trump drawing fewer fans to his Tulsa circle jerk than a Miami Marlins home game in September. Now […]

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What If George Steinbrenner Owned the Mets?

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FLUSHING, NY – Such is the current (okay, constant) State of the NY Mets, that even after a hope-filled Steven Matz win, this died-dyed-in-the-wool fan can even ponder such baseball blasphemy, but… What If George Steinbrenner Owned The Mets? #1: David Wright would be on the books somewhere else, as his Groundhog Day comeback continues. […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Cano, Wentz, Carmelo and other Examples of Sports Addition by Subtraction

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BRONX, NY – In 2001 the Seattle Mariners turned Major League Baseball on its ear by winning 116 regular season games. They accomplished this feat without the benefit of Randy Johnson, Ken Griffey Jr., and Alex Rodriguez, three of the franchise’s cornerstone players, who had all talked their way out of town. Though they didn’t go […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Hard Times? Try Pulling for My Teams!

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BRONX, NY – I was chatting with a co-worker the other day who happens to be a Cowboys fan. He was clearly deliriously happy about their latest win over the Giants and was going on and on about how long he’d been a Cowboys fan, claiming he went all the way back to the days […]

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Wally World, Sad Sack Diamondbacks and State Hypocrisy called Arizona Ruining Mets?

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PHOENIX, AZ – Of all the things for which I have mercilessly blasted Sandy Alderson during his tenure as Mets GM, perhaps the one that leaves me most bitter is this fact: As long as this Nonagenarian is running the show in Flushing, Wally Backman will never be Manager of the New York Mets. As […]

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TIP YOUR CAPS, BACK THE YANKS

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by Different Matt BRONX, NY – Its October once again and the the journey that began in April for New York’s baseball teams has come to an end. For the blue and orange half of the city, October means the end of what seemed like a six-month root canal (see bottom of page). It also […]

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COOKIE'S CORNER: BUD SELIG CALLED

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President Obama; Healthcare Advocate MILWAUKEE, WI – We’re officially into fall. The days are getting shorter as are the opportunities for Phillies fans everywhere to refer to their team as World Bleepin’ Champions. The Yanks have the best record in baseball and will be the only team to finish the season with a TRIPLE DIGIT […]

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SPORTS HEAVEN ON EARTH: FREE BEER IN VERMONT

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This article brought to you by the Brewers Ass. Of America OMIGOD, VERMONT – After a lengthy and thoroughly conclusive study, NASA just released the following statement that may rock the very foundation of our society: “SPORTS FANS LIKE BEER.” – Head Honcho, NASA That’s right: NASA. Contemplate this for but a second and it […]

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RANDY, RANDY, POUR ME SOME BRANDY!

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by Maria Christoforidis NEW YORK, NY – What do Randy Johnson and brandy have in common? They both get better with age! Mr. Johnson will soon be joining an elite group of pitchers who have all accomplished the goal of reaching 300 wins. Johnson, who currently plays for the Giants, has won the Cy Young […]

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TELL IT LIKE IT IS TUESDAY: A LITTLE BASEBALL

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COOPERSTOWN, NY – A little baseball today. The new season’s about six weeks old, and unfortunately there’s not much to say except that the season is six weeks old. There have been a few oddities, though: Ryan Zimmerman has hit in 29 straight games. For good reason, batting streaks always conjure up thoughts of Joe […]

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