Angry Ward: Knicks, Football, Baseball, and a Lot More Football

Knicks Celeb Back: Liev Schreiber, Taylor Neisen, Christy Turlington, Ed Burns

NEW YORK, NY – Wednesday again already??? Cripes! In case you haven’t noticed, I’m running out of things to write. I’ve been lobbying Management for years to install an occasional “Worst of Angry Ward” archive for days like these. Has Management listened? Does Management ever listen? All right then, let’s see what we’ve got.

The Knicks are Hot. There’s something you almost never hear. It’s right up there with “Short Matt is a great businessman” and “The Italian Army is as tough as they come.” But the Knicks are currently, and arguably, playing some of the best basketball in the NBA. I haven’t seen Knicks fans this excited since #Linsanity or their last James Dolan concert – will it last? Well, let’s hope it lasts at least a little bit longer. But, make no mistake, come playoff time the clock will strike midnight and that good-time bandwagon is turning into a giant Knicks-orange pumpkin. So enjoy the ride while you can, kids.

The Quarterback I Can’t Stand Going to the Team I Can’t Stand. Just stop talking about it and please let it happen. It’s the best for all involved, especially me.

The Other Quarterback I Can’t Stand. If the Vikings sign Kirk Cousins to another extension I’m going to start going to church again on Sundays. Anything is preferable to paying attention to a team with him at the helm. Trade him to San Fran now for a third rounder and some sourdough.

Yankees and Mets. Last time I checked, the Yankees and Mets have the same over/under win total for 2023 at 95.5 wins. I hate to say it, but I think the Yankees have a much better chance of going over that number, even though I think the Mets have the better team. I just think the NL East is tougher. The Nats are garbage, but the Braves and Phillies will be in it until the end, and the Marlins have enough pitching to keep things interesting. In the AL East, Vegas has both Toronto and Tampa Bay hovering around 90 wins, but I just don’t see it. One of those two is NOT going to be close. Baltimore will be better, but they’re still Baltimore. And the Red Sox are going to be so bad their fans will be dumping tea and a considerable amount of pee into Boston Harbor. Their projected starting rotation looks like a roster of first insignificant characters to die in slasher movies from the late-’70s–early-’80s. It’s gonna get ugly fast.

Lamar Jackson, Daniel Jones, Saquon Barkley, and the Everything Everywhere All at Once NFL Metaverse. Pro Football news is flying all over the damn place… just the way they like it. Lamar Jackson ain’t getting a fully guaranteed contract from Baltimore, so he’s been non-exclusive franchise tagged. I’m sure that’s going to turn out sucky for both sides. Meanwhile the Giants have signed their bigger, faster Eli clone, Daniel Jones, to a fairly reasonable 4-year $160 million deal with only about half guaranteed. Hilarious that these numbers now sound like a bargain. And Saquon Barkley has also received the non-exclusive franchise tag, which will pay him a little over $10 million this year. Honestly, none of this means all that much. It’s nice that guys playing on teams that have no shot at winning the Super Bowl anytime soon are making boatloads of cash but it’s all really nothing more than additional Big Box Store content for rabid NFL fans to scarf down like cattle. In the coming weeks, idiots will get excited about Jimmy Garoppolo latching on with some desperate team, JuJu Smith-Schuster finding a new mediocre home, and endless BS draft buzz. Wake me in September when it counts, and I’ll most likely be going to Sunday Service.

Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who got french fries tagged by MTM last year.

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About Angry Ward 756 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.