Angry Ward Wednesday: Detroit Down Under, Dallas Cowboys Up, and My New Favorite Yankee (???)

November 6, 2024 Angry Ward Angry Ward, Featured 0

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Jerry Jones' selfie with the Detroit Pistons

NEW YORK, NY – It’s Wednesday, and it’s a damn good thing I’m writing this on Tuesday because I plan on going home this evening, putting on a funny movie, and falling asleep. I learned years ago that me and election coverage do NOT get along so great. So, let’s talk a little sports.

I Have a Favorite Yankee. I bet nobody had this on their Angry Ward bingo card. OK, so let me explain. My friend Dave is a big Dodgers fan and sent me this clip of Austin Wells after that amazing Game 5 of the World Series. It appears to show Wells flipping the bird to Walker Buehler after striking out. I’ve seen more than a few people claim that it was his thumb rather than his middle digit, but why must you so-called humans want to ruin something so perfect? I’m serious, this actually makes me like Austin Wells. I want the Mariners to trade for him. Just let me have it and move on.

Pistons Caught Traveling. Not sure if any of you saw this, but the NYC Marathon this past Sunday forced the Detroit Pistons to make like New Yorkers and take the subway to their game in Brooklyn. I love this. The only sad thing is that does anyone know even a single player on the Pistons? Nevertheless, count me as something of a fan now.

Dallas Trades for Jonathan Mingo. Please be patient as I attempt to stop laughing. There… I think that’s the last of it. Nope. I was wrong. Okay, I’m done. Well, it appears Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys are all-in on rescuing their 2024 season. That’s right folks, Jerry and the Boys are throwing the ultimate Hail Mary by acquiring wide receiver Jonathan Mingo from the Carolina Panthers for a 2025 fourth round draft pick. Who’s Jonathan Mingo, you ask? Great question! I have no idea, but I did read that he wasn’t really good enough to be used all that much on Carolina. If Carolina and their putrid offense has no use for you, it might be time for a career change. But maybe things will pick up for him in Dallas with Cooper Rush. Dang! There goes that pesky laugh again.

You know what? That’s all for today. Come back tomorrow for the smooth, soulful stylings of Buddy Diaz.

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About Angry Ward 770 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.