BRONX, NY – That dude who portrays himself as the Co-Chairperson of the New York Yankees needs to look in the mirror and do a serious soul searching of himself.
He recently lifted the no facial hair policy on his ball club, as though this was the reason that a championship banner has not been raised up in Da Bronx since 2009. What he fails to realize is that he has an over $300 million payroll which is controlled by an ANALytic department that is clueless on the human element of the game.
He tried to justify his reasoning of beards being okay by stating that this generation mostly wears one. This generation also wears their hair as though they are homeless and fail to shower daily. It’s the “Hygiene doesn’t matter” mentality.
He then pointed out that the vice president and members of congress wear beards. So did Osama Bin Laden and Charles Manson. Let’s not forget the man who’s dubbed, “The Beard,” James Harden, who never won an NBA championship
As that dude who rambled on about the new beard policy continued his press conference, he let it be known that it was strictly his call. He failed to mention that newly acquired reliever Devin Williams requested a meeting with him to make a big stink of the no facial hair policy. The same Williams who gave up NY Mets Pete Alonso’s three-run homer in the ninth to eliminate the Milwaukee Brewers from advancing to the NL championship series vs. the LA Dodgers. Williams also reminded his new boss that this policy might affect his re-signing with this being his walk year. All this from a guy who hasn’t thrown a pitch while in pinstripes.
Yankees Captain Aaron Judge also spoke with that same boss and was shocked when the new policy was announced. Judge stated that he would look around the walls of Yankee World and see the past greats being all clean shaven and totally had no problem with the old policy.
Ex-Yankee Damon who at one time could easily be mistaken for the Geico caveman, was vocally disappointed in the Yankees giving up their unique tradition.
It started with the wearing of a durag and the numerous jeweled chains that led to how much they could get away with. Now it’s official, the line of, “The inmates are running the asylum,” applies to these overpaid pinstripe wearers up in Da Bronx.
Even an ex-Yankee, who was a true rebel, named Dock Ellis had the audacity to not wear his hair rollers under his cap by respecting the Pinstripe Pride.
