Big Ben Tuesday: A Christmas List from Hell for Giants’ Fans

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The North Pole: Happy Christmas Eve! I hope you and yours are well and 2025 is more Saquon Barkley than Daniel Jones. It won’t be a happy Christmas for Giants’ fans, as the train went off the tracks, over a cliff, and into an active volcano full of mutant sharks. How did things go SOOOOOO wrong? They are now the only team left with two wins. When you list everything that went wrong for Big Blue, it hurts even more. If your arch-enemy, Eagles fan put together a list of all the things he wanted to go wrong for the Giants going into the season, he would be hard pressed to make it worse than the list of things that did happen. Here it is, your Eagles’ Fan Schadenfraude Christmas List from Hell. 

8. Bo Nix and Michael Penix look good. When the big three QBs were off the board, the Giants decided to take a WR and punt on QB. Well, Jones sucked, even with Nabers. Nix has looked good in Denver. Penix looked poised in his first start. With no can’t miss QB coming out in the draft, the Giants may regret passing on Nix and P-Nix.

7. Brian Thomas is better than Nabers. Nabers is good, but his LSU teammate is dominating in Jacksonville, despite equally mediocre QB play. Thomas has 1,088 yards and 9 TDs compared to Nabers 969 and 4. Nabers missed a few games, so the yards are close, but Thomas has shown the take-it-to-the-house ability that Nabers has not. Thomas has several long TDs including an 85 yarder, and Nabers longest catch was 39 yards. Thomas went 23rd to Jacksonville. The Giants had a chance to trade down with New Orleans at 14 and picked up another high pick. Hindsight is 20 20, but the Giants could have gotten Thomas and another impact player.

6. Xavier McKinney leads the league in interceptions. The other free agent the Giants let go was safety Xavier McKinney. Well, he has 7 interceptions, the Giants have 3. I don’t mean the leader on the Giants has three. I mean the whole team has 3.

5. Daniel Jones is on the Vikings. The Giants decided to stick with Jones and give him a top weapon and a decent O-line. He still sucked.

4. Andrew Thomas gets hurt again. On the long, horrifying list of terrible recent offensive lineman draft picks, filled with busts like Ereck Flowers and Evan Neal, there was one success story – Andrew Thomas. But the big man got hurt again and only played 6 games. It’s starting to look like a trend.

3. Almost every key player on defense gets hurt. In addition to Thomas, almost all of the Giants best players have missed time, with several missing significant time. Okereke, Sexy Dexy, Nubin, big chunks of both lines and the secondary, etc. It’s a tough to win. Though they weren’t that good when everyone was healthy, so maybe this one is moot.

2. The Backup QBs Suck. It’s interesting that Daniel Jones chose Minnesota, a team that just drafted a young QB and revitalized Sam Darnold. It doesn’t seem like there is a good path for him to play there. But I reckon he just wanted some good coaching and to be in a QB friendly offense. Daboll is supposed to be a sound offensive mind, but the other two QBs have looked as bad or worse than Jones. I hope the joy of those meaningless Tommy DeVito wins last season with ease the pain of watching Jaydcoen Daniels dominate the division for the next decade.

1. Saquon Barkley breaks the single season rushing record and goes into the Hall of Fame as an Eagle. Part of me was glad to see Saquon go. To quote Shawshank Redemption, “I had to remind myself some birds aren’t meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright.” Saquon got out of his cage and has put up 1,838 yards and 13 TDs, with a 5.9 yard average carry. The single season rushing record is 2,105. Saquon is 267 yards away. I know he had an extra game, but guess who the Eagles play in Week 18? Your New York Giants! Look for Barkley to break the record against his old team. Hell, Saquon might get 267 in that game alone. I’d love to see him succeed, but did it have to be the f@cking Eagles, man? Watching Saquon go into the Hall of Fame as an Eagle will be like a young Mike Tyson throwing a combination on your nut sack.

Ben Whitney

I could go on, but I need more eggnog. I was in a good mood a little while ago. Lousy Giants. Clean house I say! But be sure to comeback back tomorrow for the Angry Ward Christmas Spectacular!

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About Ben Whitney 438 Articles
Ben Whitney comes from journalistic stock. Aside from his brothers, rumor has that his great-great grandfather was the youngest brother of Eli Whitney and covered the earliest "rounders" games. Big Ben is also another New York Rugby Club player/pal of Different Matt, Short Matt and Junoir Blaber. He likes film noir discussions, has twin girls and took up ice hockey after retiring from rugby.