Tag: Mikhail Prokhorov

Wrath of Jim Dolan and NBA All Star Week with Brian Williams

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“NEW YORK, NEW YORK – It’s a helluva of a town… the Knicks are high paid, but they play like some clowns, the Leprechaun attacks  any fan that’s around, New York, New York…..it’s One Hell of A Town!” It’s All-Star Week! And there is NO better way to kick off  the festivities than having your hometown team’s […]

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Meet The Matts Radio: Nets Owner Bashes Kidd, Mets GM Brags, Bobby V Rants

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NEW YORK, NY – It’s not every day you get a subpoena from Charles Rangel requesting your presence in Washington D.C. as a subject matter expert. So after having spent the past 2 weeks in our Nation’s Capital arguing for Net Neutrality, we are back! And we have an exciting new short and sweet Meet […]

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Meet The Matts Radio: Bobby V Lobbies for Mets Job, Mikhail Prokhorov Blasts Knicks

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MTM HQ – Ladies and Germs, apologies for delay while we dealt with some “Cobert-like” Technical Difficutties. We’re trying to overcome a perfect storm of S-H-!-T to get the latest gem of a Meet The Matts Radio segment up for your ears’ delight… In today’s bit, Bobby V openly campaigns for Mets Mangager Terry Collins‘ […]

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Nutty Owners of the Flailing Knicks and Nets Predict Wins

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BROOKLYN, NY – Blues rocker and Cable Guy Extraordinariness, Jim Dolan and Russia’s version of Stephen Merchant, Mikhail Prokhorov, have both guaranteed that their basketball teams will win the this year. In fact, Dolan went so far as to guarantee a Knicks win last night. Are these bold predictions wise or are the Nutty Owners […]

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Groundhog Day Forecasting: If A Rat Can Predict Future, So Can I

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PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA – It’s only appropriate that The Matts have me writing 2 weeks in a row when I’m only supposed to write every other week on Groundhog Day.  Its like de ja vu all over again.  In the world of minor holidays there is no day more ludicrous than Groundhog Day.  On this eh… […]

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2012 Sports Slogans & Promises Leaked To Us!

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NEW YORK, NY – First off, Happy New Year! We hope this finds you hale, hearty and not too hungover! Cheesy Bruin is without the Intra Webs again, so we’re filling in – although there’s no replacing The Cheese Man – and as luck would have it, we have exclusive info for you. See, the […]

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I’M SURE BROOKLYN CAN’T WAIT TO GET EM

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by Dr. Diz “What exit?” GUN BARREL CITY, TEXAS – Certain unmistakable and unique things come to mind when someone mentions Jersey. The Sopranos. The ballads of urban decay and blue collar woe by Bruce Springsteen. Guys with names like Vinnie and Nino. The Jersey Shore. There’s also the chip-on-the-shoulder complex that comes from being […]

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