NEW YORK, NY – That’s it! I’ve had it with these break even 2 and 2 weeks (3 of the past 4) of the Free NFL Picks segment on MTM. Still, the record is a respectable 31-20 overall as I’m hitting at a 61% clip. Today, if not lacing your pockets with holiday cash, a handful of bad football teams get me rolling to the aforementioned magic number.
FAVORITE: A horrible game kicks off in East Rutherford at 1:00, the stench of which can only get lost in the malodorous waftings from nearby Secaucus. The Jets, losers of three straight, are showcasing a Pop Warner offense to the tune of two Nick Folk (offensive team MVP?) field goals over the last two contests. In town to stink up the environment even further are the Oakland Raiders. As competitive as they’ve been lately the Silver & Black are still toting around a QB named Matt McGloin (sounds like a bad piece of corned beef from the cow’s nether region) and a productive understudy of running backs. I’ll take my chances on Rex Ryan’s stout run defense against a rookie QB and Marty Mornhinweg to cook up a game plan no matter which QB takes snaps for Gang Green. This is my Department of Environmental Protection Lock of the Year. J-E-T-S minus-3.
UNDERDOG: Say what you want about Angry Ward’s Minnesota Vikings but they are 2-1-1 in their last four games and while Leslie Frazier is in over his head as a Head Coach in the NFL, the Purple Penis Eaters haven’t thrown in the towel after a 1-7 start. The host (6-6) Ravens are nothing more than defending Super Bowl Champs because the AFC is a much weaker conference from top to bottom compared to the NFC and are a faux .500 team. Even a win today doesn’t save Leslie Frazier’s job. A generous number of points to grab…VIKINGS +6
OVER: A few weeks ago I revealed an NFL betting theory as the best tip ever from an OTB old-timer. I won’t repeat it but will just tell you it’s $$$ in the bank 3 out of 4 times in it’s rarity. Washington and the Giants were well on their way to last week’s predicted over until the ‘Skins fell flat after a two touchdown lead and only mustered a field goal the rest of the way. Kansas City has been fine tuning the offense lately, albeit in losses, and serves well for the likes of playoff match-ups against Denver, New England, or Cincinnati. The Chiefs get to 30 without breaking a sweat so all we’re asking for is RGlll to get the remaining 16 or 17. WASH/KC OVER 44
UNDER: I’m calling for an investigation concerning the Indianapolis Colts and the Las Vegas lines. It seems like every week games involving the Horseshoes come down to the last play to determine a point-spread cover and /or the total and has produced an unhealthy disdain for Andrew Luck and Chuck Pagano. The fact that I appear to be on the losing side of these buzzer-beaters adds to the animosity. The word is out and makes Luck uneasy enough to lay an egg in this game against the Bengals who are struggling to score on offense as of late.
Filed in: Cheesy Bruin