Tag: New York Giants

Angry Ward Wednesday: Gridiron Soylent Green, NFL Week 1 Takeaways for Stupid NFL Fans

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NEW YORK, NY – Tomorrow marks the start of another NFL season. Finally, the year-round hype can end and, instead, we can all fall all over each other gobbling up endless recaps, injury reports, power rankings, and all manner of useless analysis. It’s f**king mind-numbing, but we are too far gone to turn away. With that […]

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Calling All Gamblers: NFL Picks Rising And Falling. NFL Teams To Bet On

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MARLBORO, NY – Tomorrow is Labor Day and signals the unofficial end of summer; one in which we didn’t have the normal heat that comes with the season. In the sports world, the cool nights and crisp air ushers in the upcoming NFL season in four days and NHL pucks drop in a month. These […]

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Grinding Ax Edition: Soccer, Football and Spelling Bees?

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COLTS NECK, NJ – As I said to Short Matt when summoned to write something for the Saturday during Labor Day Weekend, “Writing a column for Saturday is like singing the National Anthem for a Mets game. Nobody is listening!”  That said, I hope you both enjoy my freestyle offering. USA Men’s Soccer:  Once again, The USA Men’s Soccer Team is  embarrassed by a tiny […]

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Labor Day Weekend Ends Miserable Sports Summer, Starts NHL, MLB Playoffs, Kershaw Flop

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DENVER, CO – It’s Labor Day Weekend and that means summer is coming to a close.  Frankly, I can’t wait for it to be over… from a sports perspective.  For the past three months, the majority of the over-worked, underpaid, over-sauced MTM cohorts have been scrambling to put pen to paper with nothing more to […]

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Angry Ward: Paul O’Neill, Detroit Lions, David Wright and Other Sports Stuff

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BRONX, NY – Last week I did what I could to convince you all to stop watching sports. But we all know, that is a losing battle. At its absolute best (which isn’t all that often, these days) sports elevates us above the human condition, and maybe even wins us some money. When it’s mediocre and […]

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Sports Justice Handed Down On: Knicks, Mets, Giants, Boston, Kaepernick, Manning

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BROOKLYN, NY  – In response to my recent comments on our esteemed scribes’ posts here, Management has asked me to return to the fray… so here it goes: Now presiding over the case of Justice in the Sports Universe to make things right again, yours truly. I will issue these Judge Dredd-like edicts, because I […]

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Brawling Bombers in Detroit as Mets Break – AGAIN – Cursed With Freak Injury

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NEW YORK, NY – It was an eventful afternoon at Comerica Park in Detroit yesterday. The Yankees and Tigers were wrapping up a three game set. The Bombers were looking to complete a sweep and get out of town. Instead the teams duked it out as the beanballs flew and the benches cleared three times. […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Don’t Watch Sports!

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BRONX, NY – I’m back from vacation. On Monday I stared right down the barrel of that solar eclipse, sans viewing specs, and was rewarded with super powers beyond my wildest dreams. For starters, I am now completely impervious to late-night texts from Short Matt asking me to edit someone’s column and telling me how much […]

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Gambling Season & Cheesy Bruin’s NFL Picks Are Back! UNDER Win Totals.

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MARLBORO, NY-The NFL owes it’s maddening popularity to gambling. It doesn’t matter if you’re throwing some shekels down on fantasy football, an office pool, a numbers “box” at the local watering hole, or betting against the Las Vegas point spread. What I do on NFL Sundays is give you people money-winning advice–at about a 60% […]

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Chris Long Supports Jenkins, Stanton After Roger Marris, Lewd Sports Fans

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EL BARRIO, EL BRONX – It has been almost a month since I last graced these pages. I hope you have missed me as much as I missed you guys. Having become a regular pinch hitter, first bat of the bench if you will, it felt weird being unable speak with my fans. There has been […]

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