I was ashamed, and I didn’t want to say anything. I thought it would go away and let my ego get in the way. Since then, I’ve beat myself up about it more than 10 baseball bats could. A stupid mistake can cost you, and this has really cost me. I should have been having this conversation a long time ago.” -NOT Mark McGwire

MATTVILLE, USA – Turn off the picture function on you cellulars and stay away from the computer. Resist your web-starved appetite for being in on the latest sports scandal. Why all the hubbub? Simple. We’re saving you from an ill-served an unwanted portion of Salisbury Steak!

Who, what, where? If haven’t heard, Sean Salisbury, NFL QB for eight seasons and ESPN analyst for 12, likes sending pictures of Bob & The Boys out to select female winners of his personal(s) Show & Tell via his cell phone. Yet, like Mark McGwire – Salisbury, 46, is simply substantiating something he’s already been accused of – and vehemently denied. Like McGwire on Captiol Hill, Salisbury chose not to own up on Salisbury Hill when asked point-blank by Deadspin on August 14, 2008:


“I haven’t addressed it because it’s so absurd and such a bald-faced lie from what the speculation is out there from media outlets and Internet and bloggers that hop on and want to beat you up because they don’t like my opinion in football. It never happened.”

If McGwire actually said something to Congress, he would have said something like that. Moreover, Seanie Boy said this whole thing had a devastating effect on his kids and put his broadcasting career on hold… Duh.

    “It was stupid —dumb!— but not malicious. How can it ruin a good career? I’ve gone from being on six days a week to disappearing. And it’s not like I wanted to disappear. But it feels good getting it off my chest.”

John Edwards would be proud. MEANWHILE

Grant Desme, a top Oakland A’s prospect, is retiring from baseball to enter the priesthood and tick jgclancy off. Holy Plate Appearance, Batman! Agents worldwide are vomiting. His agent has been using the Lord’s name in vain, to say the least. Why? Check out the 23-year-old Father Desme’s stats as a top outfielder prospect:

  • 2009 Arizona Fall League MVP
  • Batted .288 with 31 homers, 89 RBIs and 40 stolen bases in 131 games at Class-A Kane County and Stockton last season.
  • Hit .315 with a league-leading 11 home runs and 27 RBIs in 27 games in the fall league
  • The potential padre has been thinking about the priesthood for a year and a half. Ironically, the following came in a phone call:

      “It took me a while to get to… It’s about a 10-year process. [In some ways] it’s like “re-entering the minor leagues… I love the game, but I aspire to higher things.”

    We heard Oakland GM Billy Beane was seen breaking bats over various water-coolers after Desme told him on Thursday.

    There you have it, an Extreme Saturday. What’ll it be? Salisbury Steak or Communion?

    REX O’ROURKE, tomorrow.

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