Angry Ward Wednesday: April Showers Bring Mayweather… and other Sports Stuff

The Post is back!

mayweather and other sports stuffNEW YORK, NY – Originally, this column was going to be about my trek down to Atlantic City this past Saturday with assorted MTM royalty including, Grote2DMax, Cheesy Bruin, The Public Professor, and JG Clancy, but after a lucrative late-night run on “Let it Ride,” the most skill-less game in the casino, I decided that the memories of that long day’s journey into night needn’t be shared publicly. OK, I will share one important detail: The name of our dealer on “Let it Ride” was Hung and he was every bit as hysterical as you might expect someone with that moniker to be. His catch phrase? “As Seen on TV!” Anyway a good time was had by all on a day when there was also no shortage of big-time sporting events happening. For instance…

628x471The Run for the Roses. For those that don’t follow the ponies, Orb captured this year’s Kentucky Derby, turning in a convincing win in the slop at Churchill Downs. I had him in a three-horse exacta but was thwarted when Revolutionary with dentally-challenged Calvin Borel aboard, finished third rather than second. Good news is, my two pals The Knish and The Public Professor had the winner. The Knish is already predicting that this is the year we finally get another Triple Crown winner. Stay tuned. Also stay tuned to this year’s MTM Belmont outing, which Cheesy Bruin will be announcing shortly. You don’t want to miss it.

Let me get a hit off that hot Orb.
Let me get a hit off that hot Orb.

Stink Floyd. What you did want to miss was last Saturday’s fight between Floyd Mayweather and Robert Guerrero. I didn’t see it, but apparently the suckers who shelled out for Pay-Per-View were treated to a ho-hum bout dominated by Mayweather who apparently was content to land quick jabs and the occasional right hand while focusing on defense. The thing is, boxing isn’t like baseball, where there are plenty of fans who love seeing a great pitching performance and limited offense. I seriously doubt the folks who paid to see this bout were saying “Gee, I hope Floyd puts on a defensive show and stays on his bicycle tonight.” He won the fight, yes, but this clown continues to put nails into boxing’s coffin. I’d rather watch hours of old SCTV reruns featuring Joe Flaherty as Count Floyd than tune in for a second of Floyd Mayweather’s next fight.

Power Poof. Pretty interesting to see so many of Major League Baseball’s big boppers struggling so mightily at the plate these days. How do you think the Angels feel about having Albert Pujols (.237,  5hr, 19 rbi) signed through 2021? They can console themselves, though, in knowing that they at least have Josh Hamilton under contract four another four years. Oh, wait, he’s hitting .208 with 2 homers and 9 rbi. Meanwhile AL East preseason darling Toronto is 12-21 in dead last and their masher, Jose Bautista, is hitting .228. Wonder if any of this has anything to do with stricter drug testing. Nah.

Hockey. Rangers have a pulse, Isles giving Pens all they can handle, Bruins back on top of Toronto, Minnesota not dead yet, blah, blah, blah. You guys don’t need me to write about this, you handle it fine all by yourselves. Though getting commenter Chris Kocur back in the mix will make things even more lively.

The Post is back!
The Post is back!

Stinko de Melo. This was the NY Post headline the day after the Knicks lost to the Pacers on Cinco de Mayo… and it was great. Good to see too, because The Post has been slipping of late, letting the Daily News get the better of them in the creative headline department including “Tip of the Weiner” to go with the story that there may be more compromising Anthony Weiner twitter photos out there. With “Stinko de MeloThe Post is back on point. Thank God Shammgod for that.

That’s all for this week. Li’l Angry is more than a little sleepy and hence a tad grouchy. Come back tomorrow for the soul stylings of Cam James.

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About Angry Ward 681 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.