Burning Cash: A-Rod Tweets, Cashman Breathes Fire

A-Rod Tweets Cashman poorly.

THE BRONX, NY – We all know that Alex Rodriguez is an idiot and the Yankees brass are sick of him. But this week we got an unprecedented look at exactly how the Yankees feel about him. The usually collected Brian Cashman lost his sh*t after A-Rod tweeted that his doctor cleared him to play baseball again. Maybe Cashman was a little loopy from the pain meds after breaking his leg jumping out of an airplane. But more likely, the Cash-Man had just come to the end of his tether with a nuisance he didn’t want to begin with. A-Rod circumventing the Yankees and their doctors and announcing on his own that he was ready to play sent the Bombers’ GM over the edge… It’s always great to hear people swearing that you wouldn’t expect to hear swearing.

a-rod-popcornRemember when A-Rod opted out of his first Yankee contract in 2007 – as the Red Sox were getting ready to win the World Series? One of the many classless acts throughout Rodriguez’s career – but Cashman probably thought he was in the clear; the Al-batross had loosened itself from the Yankees’ neck.

But the Yankees decided that they should reward A-Rod’s hubris with another contract that was bigger than the first. Since then, its been a trail of injuries and ignominy for Rodriguez. Bum hips and knees, steroid allegations and admissions, divorces, strained calfves, Madonna, Cameron Diaz, Popcorn, injured wrists, more steroids allegations, sore thumbs and numbers exchanged with random girls in the stands were par for the course for A-Rod over the past five years. For all of that, the Yankees won one World Series in ’09. A title that they may just have won without him to begin with.

To say that returns have been diminishing since signing the new contract would be an understatement. When Rodriguez has been healthy enough to play a few games, he has been ineffective. His career average has dropped to an even .300. He should stop now while he still has it and not play on like Mickey Mantle did from ’65 to ’68 when he lost his .300 average. Stopping now would also save the Yankees a lot of headaches.

alex-rodriguez-540x360The Yankees still owe A-Rod over $100 million, of which the vast majority would be paid by the insurance company should Rodriguez retire due to injury. But that doesn’t look likely to happen any time soon now that A-Roid declared his intention to play with his tweet earlier this week. Cashman may have overreacted a bit, but who hasn’t wanted to tell A-Rod to shut the f*ck up? We’ll see how things play out and how long it takes for the Yankee doctors to clear Rodriguez to play. If they ever do.

Unfortunately, A-Rod may be closer to a return than anyone wants to admit. Every decision Rodriguez has made for the last decade has been completely wrong. All Yankee fans are hoping that he finally does something right and disappears from the game for good. But knowing A-Rod, we’ll be watching him try to play for the foreseeable future.

Come back tomorrow for the smooth stylings of Preacher Collins.

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About Different Matt 269 Articles
Different Matt is our cunning Cornell grad/rugby player. "Diff" joined us just after the switch from being "Mets only" to an all-sports stop. He's a Yankee fan; thus he was "different." Aside from the Yanks, he's a diehard NY Giants, NY Rangers and NY Knicks fan. He also likes long walks on the beach and cappuccinos and nearly died in Las Vegas.