Grote’s Gripes: Offensive Foul. Best Offensive Team Names

Chief Zee
Offensive Team Names: This is not Chief Black Thunder

WASHINGTON, DC – Last night was a pretty big night in the sports world with the Heat getting the victory in Game 7 over the pesky Pacers to reach the NBA finals.  My Bruins also crushed the Penguins 6-1 to go up two – love in their best of 7 series.  An absolutely dominating performance in Pittsburgh.  Let’s go B’s.

Last week, the sports world was forced to deal with another naming controversy when 10 members of Congress urged the Washington Redskins to consider changing its nickname due to its potential offensiveness among Native American groups.  Never mind that the name “Redskins” were used by Native American’s to describe themselves back in the 19th century.  Chief Black Thunder of the Meskwaki and the Omaha chief Big Elk both used the term in speeches they gave as a way of describing their people.  Black Thunder would be a great name for a team or for a horse for that matter.  But I digress.

St. John’s University bowed down to similar pressure years ago when they changed their name from the Redmen to the Red StormWhen was the last time they were relevant?  Also the Washington Bullets changed their name to the Wizards under similar pressure.  When was the last time they were relevant?  Get the picture.  Name change equals obscurity.  Whatever happened to that Cassius Clay guy or Lew Alcindor for that matter.  Oh well.

I think if you look at most sports teams they can be offensive to somebody.  How about the Notre Dame Fighting Irish?  They have a leprechaun as their mascot for Christ’s sake, but no one complains.  Why should they, the Irish can be drunken buffoons and we know it.

Here are my cases in point in the four major sports leagues.  The teams are listed first and who they are offensive to is listed after.

Surf’s Up

Yankees: Southerners and anyone not a Yankee fan.

Pirates, Vikings, Raiders, Buccaneers: People opposed to raping and pillaging.

Hurricanes: Millions of storm victims and their families.

Indians, Braves, Chiefs, Blackhawks: Casino owners.

Bears: Fat, hairy gay men.

Lightning: Roy Sullivan (who was struck by lightning seven times and survived).

Heat: Al Gore and the damn global warming crowd.

Padres, Saints, Cardinals: Non Catholics.

Devils, Angels: Atheists.

Reds: Non communists.

Sharks: Thousand of shark bite victims including that poor one-armed surfer girl.

Royals, Kings: Commoners.

Avalanche: Skiers and snowboarders.

Giants fan chased1238571Giants: Short people.

Brewers: Mothers Against Drunk Drivers.

Chargers, Bills: Shopaholics.

Magic, Wizards: People harassed and tortured by members of the occult.

Blazers: Casual Friday proponents.

Warriors: Peace loving people everywhere.

Suns: Melanoma victims.

Oilers: Environmentalists.

Athletics: Couch potatoes.

Mets: Fans of good baseball.

Stay tuned tomorrow for a man who is easily offended and easily offends, Angry Ward.









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About Kevin McGrory 11 Articles
Grote2DMax (aka Kevin McGrory) is another of our Bronx-raised, urban white trash writers. Having grown up with Angry Ward, Cheesy Bruin, The Public Professor, JG Clancy (Mattville's Otis of Mayberry) and Tall Matt. What's really odd about him, however, is that he and Tall Matt both liked the NFL Rams and MLB Mets?! Bouncing twin boys, Matt & Matt, have forced him to hang up his keyboard to keep his lovely bride from socking him - and us - in the nose... but he still tosses a gem every now and then and can be seen on Twitter - @Grote2DMax. We're luck to have him.