MLB Fight Club, King James the Poet, Hero & Villain of the Week

King James the Poet?
Pig Pen or Sandy Alderson?
Pig Pen or Sandy Alderson?

NEW YORK, NY – The stormy weather has finally ended and the sun is shining in NYC.  But dark clouds continue to follow the NY Mets, like those dirt clouds that follow Pig Pen.  So, I’ll start there because it can only get better from here…

This weekend, the Metropolitans host the Chicago Cubs and hope to break a precipitous slide into oblivion having gone 2-8 in their last 10 games to fall to 24-37 for the season. Is it too late to rescue the season?  Mathematically, no.  But they’ve got to start pretty soon otherwise there will be a lot more Free Dogs & Fries discount packages for Cam James, which…I’m actually okay with.

Future MLB-UFC pay per view?
Future MLB-UFC pay per view?

Changing boroughs, there is other BIG news in the MLB from their Manhattan office!  Apparently, the ‘powers that be‘ are in talks with the UFC on a potential UFC-MLB pay-per-view event later this year.  Given the huge brawl this week between the LA Dodgers and Arizona Diamondbacks, this comes as no surprise.  What great sporting fun for the kiddies to watch!  MLB SVP Joe Garagiola Jr. agreed and subsequently suspended 8 players; with Ian Kennedy (Diamondbacks pitcher) receiving the heaviest spanking with a hefty 10-game suspension.  Ian ‘Headhunter’ Kennedy is my ‘Villain of the Week‘ (see below).

spursheatMoving on to the NBA Finals.  LeBron James overcame disappointing series performances to rack up 33 points and 11 rebounds in Thursday night’s win over the San Antonio Spurs (109-93) to even the series at 2-2.  But before that redemption, our “King James” emerged as an up and coming poet earlier in the week.  One with bad grammar, yes, but heck most good poets are either drunks or drug addicts so who cares about grammar?  I think some type of dysfunction just comes with the territory.

Here’s what our new Shakespearean NBA Star had to say after the Spurs decimated the Heat earlier in the week on Tuesday night (113-77):

“As dark as it was last night, it can’t get no darker than that, especially for me,” James said.

Not exactly the opening line to Hamlet but it definitely shows promise.  And with that double negative, yet lovely line, LeBron makes my Hero of the Week for being so talented in sports AND literature.  Next Heat-Spurs game is in San Antonio on Sunday night 8pm.  Preacher Collins’ pick…Spurs go up 3-2.

Go "ME!"
Go “ME!”

Other interesting news…the NY Jets’ Rex Ryan continues to live in his self-deluded fantasy of being a legitimate NFL coach saying in a recent interview:

“I’m a hell of a lot better football coach than I’m given credit for,” and even went so far as to speak in the 3rd person with, “Oh, man, this dude can coach his butt off.”

Be careful Rex with all that hot air coming out of ya, you just might need that big ‘ole butt if you don’t do something THIS season with the Jets.  Make the Playoffs or….

Ian "Headhunter" Kennedy
Ian “Headhunter” Kennedy

Get kicked in ‘yer arse’ off the Jets and out of the greater NYC area!

Hero of the Week:  LeBron James
For his amazing comeback performance in game 4 of the NBA Finals and his most eloquent prose.

Villain of the Week:  Ian Kennedy
For being a ‘head hunter‘ and a jerk on the field taking unsportsmanlike conduct to the next level. Personally, I hate it when a pitcher throws at me, much less my noggin.  And with a 90+mph fastball, that makes it even worse.  Enjoy the 10 game no-pay holiday and if you do it again, I hope someone really knocks YOUR noggin!

Well that’s all for Preacher’s Row today, be safe, be kind, and stay tuned for Cheesy Bruin manana and Father’s Day regatta.

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About Preacher Collins 22 Articles
Glen "Preacher" Collins is a the quintessential southern baseball junkie and God-fearing man. You may see him toiling in amateur baseball leagues with the likes of Cam James and Short Matt... His teams are all-Atlanta - that's where he's from. Is his love for the Braves innate? Maybe. After all, he is 1/16 Cherokee. Check him out on Saturdays for Preacher's Row.