NORTH SALEM, NY– A partially frozen lake with falling snow accumulating on floes and bare trees is the picturesque vista beyond the computer and bedroom windows while writing in this bucolic winter wonderland sixty miles north of NYC. Snow during last week’s NFL slate couldn’t help defenses stop offensive efforts in the most prolific scoring Sunday in history. Something else that can’t be stopped are my 4 Free Week 15 NFL Picks (3-1 last week) and a winning rate north of 60%… actually 63%. Today’s blizzard of winners are:
FAVORITE: How much do the Giants suck? Let me count the ways…
-Last week’s abomination against San Diego was so dreadful and non-competitive that I fell asleep watching the frogging game.
-The Giants have lost twice to the Dallas Cowboys and their defense unable of stopping a pregnant woman on roller skates in her thirty-ninth week of gestation.
–Big Blew is one game better in record than the mighty likes of the Jacksonville Jaguars, Buffalo Bills, Cleveland Browns, and Tampa Bay Yucks.
And their opponent?
-The Seahawks are smarting after last week’s buzzer beater to the hated Niners.
–Seattle acclimates themselves to the East Rutherford confines for an expected return trip in February.
‘Nuff said… SEATTLE -7.
UNDERDOG: Has there been a more hard luck team than Angry Ward’s Viking’s? I mean this poor guy roots for the NFL’s snake-bitten equivalent to the New York Mets – whom he also backs. Better (bettor?) days are ahead Angry One. If only Matt Cassel started from the word go, the current 3-9-1 mark would be less paltry. In any event, the Norsemen have summoned the power of Thor’s hammer to cover five of the last six contests and I’m not jumping off the seafaring money vessel against the overachieving Eagles. Isn’t it time Philthy lays an egg on the road? MINNESOTA +5 1/2.
OVER: A fish rots from the head down and today’s ‘over’ selection is as fishy as they come. The Redskins are a complete mess in the locker room, on field, and in management’s offices. Careful messing with voodoo doll RG lll, Mike Shanahan as you shut him down for Kirk Cousins. On the other sideline are the hometown Atlanta Falcons who closed up shop two months ago and are still banged up. The line is fifty. 50! Fitty? Smells fishy enough where somebody expects two dead-in-the-water teams to light up the scoreboard like a Xmas tree. WASH/ATL OVER 50.
UNDER: The Dallas Cowboys defense suh-hucks. SUH-HUCKS! How did they win seven games? The game plan on offense is obvious as no deep post patterns are called anymore in order to keep the Allas (no “D” in Dallas anymore) defense off the field. The Green Bay Packers arrive with playoff hopes albeit without Aaron Rodgers but other no-names have thrown the ball all over the Cowboys so Matt Flynn will need to be kept in check. A healthy dose of Cowboys runs and ten yard routes keep this close to the total but under nonetheless. GB/DALL UNDER 48