EDISON, NJ – Ever wonder why sports fans obsess over their bad teams year after year? I do. In fact I obsess over it. Take the Mets fans right here on this site; a gaggle of waffle-eating, ex-jock, word exhibitionists. Like Emperor Penguins, every Spring they set off with a clean slate and some shiny new tickets, to define insanity – one painful inning at a time.
Albert Einstein clearly explains that the definition of INSANITY is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result. Mets fans, while knowing the sad sack squad that the Wilpon’s serve up every Happy Hour tastes as watered down as those half-price libations at your local Fridays, still guzzle the goods with naive hope.
Cheap payroll is no different than a Mojito made with Ronrico Rum… sure, an umbrella dresses the pig, up but it’s still a swine. They just gift wrap this team each year with newly a crowned savior – and slogan. This year Curtis Granderson is the chosen one and their war cry is something like “On The Verge.”
Don’t get me wrong, being a Tigers fan, I have always liked Curtis, but throw him into this mess and he will play down to the level of the rest of the Metropolitans.
But Hey, you are NOT ALONE! Right across the river there is sexy former fat guy who just loves feet. How much you ask? Well, enough to throw a franchise tag on the twinkling little toes of Nick Folk. God forbid a kicker get away… we all know what a shortage of soccer players there is in the world.
And Coach Foot Fetish (aka Rex Ryan) now has the ASPCA’s poster child, Michael Vick, to teach Geno Smith how to be a winner. Odds are that the J-E-T-S fans will embrace the NFL’s anti Cesar Millan, and by mid season or sooner, he’ll be barking signals behind center. WOOF….bacon flavored dog treats for all.
I was in Mike’s old kennel last week for a wedding. The City Of Brotherly Love is gearing up for many great sports moments. For one, they believe the Flyboys can win the Stanley Cup. This is true. Just not this year… again. The Rangers exposed them again at MSG Wednesday night. But I know… I’m dreading another year of the Blue Shirts not adding a banner to the rafters. It’s the curse of Messier.
Back to Philly… They also are pre-selling World Series tickets for the Phillies return to the top. After all, they are now managed by the Rhino – Ryne Sandberg. He won a bunch of rings, didn’t he? Hmmm… Lookup Bartman under Famous Sports Curses. You get the picture…
Look around any professional sports league. The perennial losers all share the same cycle of pain. Their fans are gearing up for their Opening Days and the anticipation of a different result. It’s tradition. It’s All-American. Hopes Springs Eternal…
and a couple of bald guys are picking up their blue and orange suits from the dry cleaners and spit-shining their heads in order to rally the tens of… uh… hundreds of Met fans to crash those gates at Citi Field.
It could be worse… We could be in Cleveland.