LOS ANGELES, CA – With aLL the sports PUNDITS and PONTIFICATORS spewing their insights re the obvious, and boring us with the “great” sports moments in the rivalry between NYC & LA, I will speak ONLY to why the Rangers will spank the Kings.
New York is trending over the City of Smog and the Stanley Cup will land where it belongs…..On Jimmy Fallon’s desk in the hands of the REAL KING of KINGS…Henrik Lundqvist!
The table has been set and the CUP belongs in the city that the entire world evolves around…THE BIG APPLE! Let’s begin the SMACK TALK.
The Statue of Liberty is in New York Harbor and Lady Liberty has graced the Ranger jersey. Who named them Kings and which King are they kowtowing to, exactly? Even The Great One – who was LA’s Greatest King – deferred to Lady Liberty.
The New York Rangers are known as the Blueshirts and Broadway Blues… and the bright lights of Broadway cannot be ignored, while LA comes back with a sidewalk full of hand-prints. Oh, boy. And lately they seem to let anyone who hangs on long enough – I’m looking at you Bruce Jenner – to stick their paws into some wet cement! Rumor is that Small Matt is being considered for this designation although he will only be allowed to imprint two fingers.
World Trade, Empire State Building, the Freedom Tower in New York simply dwarfs what LA rolls out. They have what in the City of Angels – or is that Anaheim? Oh a Coca Cola building? And you thought Chicago was the Second City?
Speaking of TV, 2014 will go down as the year the Tonight Show came back to where it belonged…NYC! BOOM! LA is now left with a NEW YORKER – Jimmy Kimmel – and whatever replaces Craig Ferguson and… Arsenio Hall. The latter renders Los Angeles IRRELEVANT!
Let’s face it, folks: The Stanley Cup deserves to be hoisted in the World’s Most Famous Arena not a The World’s Largest Staples’ Tribute. Plus, ice in LA is like palm trees in NYC; the symmetry is simply not there.
I could go on and on and start comparing the Yankees and Dodgers, Giants and the… Oh, right. They don’t have a football team. How ’bout them Clippers?!
The bottom line is we have better pizza, better bagels, better water – especially when it’s frozen – and this year? The better hockey team… Rangers in 6 .
At home on the ice at MSG baby! Let’s keep an eye on the Playoff beards and the women who grow them.
What do you think? Fire away and come back tomorrow for our royalty, Angry Ward.
P.s… Small Matt reveals the truth on whether he and Verne Troyer are twins in an upcoming Meet The Matts Radio segment.