PROP BETS for the Super Big Game Bowl!

FROZEN, NYThe first Sunday in February means one thing and one thing only; it’s the biggest football game of the year. It’s so BIG, it’s got Roman numerals in its name and we’re not allowed to say its name! That’s BIG! MTM Management decided we should refer to it as the SBBG (Super Big Bowl Game).

Let's meet at Short Matt's!
Let’s meet at Short Matt’s!

Hopefully there’s good company, food and spirits and numbers for the SBBG “box pool” you’ve entered. After all, gambling is synonymous with football and with the help of management, I’m here with a fictitious $1000 to wager on what are called “proposition bets.”

  • Will Idina Menzel forget or omit at least one word of the National Anthem? (yes +400/no -600) This is the chick who voiced Elsa in the movie Frozen and is currently performing in a Broadway play. She is the product of Russian and Eastern European immigrants. I’m risking $100 that her artistic license and ancestry takes over and she flubs at least one word of the anthem. Let it go, the money that is, for $100 to win $400.
  • How many times are deflated balls referred to during the game? over/under 2.5
    We’ve heard about deflate-gate every day now for two weeks and we’ll hear it at least three more times with Chris Collinsworth good for blurting it out twice. OVER for $100
  • Will Marshawn Lynch grab his crotch after scoring a TD? (yes +400/no-600)
    The key to this one is “after scoring a TD” which means you don’t collect if he gets punched in the nuts or is disputing a call made by a referee. Wager $100 to win $118.75
Ain't no deflate-gate here
Ain’t no deflate-gate here
  • How many times will Gisele Bundchen be shown on TV? over/under 1.5  This one is easy money. Two times is how many times we see Gisele, once after MR. BUNDCHEN scores a touchdown and once when the Seattle defensive line rips his head completely off his body. OVER for $200
  • Will it be mentioned that Pete Carroll was the last head coach of the Patriots? (yes +110/no -150) This is the exact tidbit you would hear the omnipotent Al Michaels spew in order to fill the air during a broadcast. Easy money to be made here. Gimme yes for $200 to win $220
  • Groundhog Day Parlay: Punxatawny Phil doesn’t see his shadow AND Seattle wins 12/5
    I’m rolling the dice on this one since frigid temps and snow is forecasted for the north and might sway that Pennsylvania rodent back into his hole. Seattle also has to win and this prop is the longest payout of it’s kind. Watch the movie starring Bill Murray at the very least. Putting up 50 to win $120.
Mayor Doofus & Phil
Mayor Doofus & Phil
  • Total yards on first reception by Julian Edelman over/under 9.5
    Edelman has a career average per catch of 10.3 and was little above this year at 10.6.  Brady is famous for throwing inside the numbers on short routes and screens so this seems to be somewhat safe if the Seahawks defense can tackle the small and slow white guy on the first attempt. UNDER 9.5 for $10
  • Longest successful field goal (over/under 44.5)
    Properly inflated ball are easiest to kick a long way.  OVER 44.5 yards for $100
  • Odds to score first TD of game: Tim Wright 20-1 ($25 to win 500) and Tony Moeaki 40-1 ($25 to win 1000)
    The lock is UNDER 48.

P.s… Management is backing the Patriots because Nate Ebner is a good guy.

Have a Lucky Day!

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About Cheesy Bruin 491 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.