How ‘Bout Dem Cowboys?

Cheesy-Bruin-Cowboys-Bruins-300x280FT. WORTH, TX – It’s only fitting that I write about the Dallas Cowboys on Mother’s Day since this team’s brain trust (using that term very loosely) has made the mother of all mistakes very recently. Jerry Jones and his staff should submit to drug and alcohol testing after a series of moves that will burn the organization faster than Richard Pryor freebasing cocaine.

While the salary cap dictates a lot of roster moves, the Cowboys decided to slap the franchise tag on mercurial wide receiver Dez Bryant, while letting the team’s single-season rushing leader, DeMarco Murray, leave for division rival Philadelphia via free agency. Where Bryant came up one yard short in the playoffs, Dallas comes up about a mile short in the replacement running back – albeit behind a world class offensive line. The oft-injured Darren McFadden will play a whole season for the ‘Boys when Sofia Vergara decides to free her frozen embryos. The former Raider will be 28 years-old when the season starts and has never started a full season but is from Jerry’s alma mater of Arkansas. Ryan Williams, Lance Dunbar and the shoplifting Joseph Randle round out the backfield whose needs were not addressed in the draft. Sounds like a sound decision to me only if I were deaf.

homecoming_gene jerry jones

Nothing says Happy Mother’s Day like the free agent signing of defensive end Greg Hardy, who is accused by a North Carolina woman of allegedly throwing her onto a sofa full of shotguns and rifles last May – resulting in the former Panther’s fifteen game suspension in 2014. Further NFL discipline will have the new Cowboy missing the first ten games of the season… pending appeal. Great move considering he has played once since early September 2014 and may not see the field until late November 2015, on his one-year contract.

randy_gregory_fails_nfl_drug_t_0_1427377336Showing up and failing a drug test at the NFL Combine is like you or me appearing for a job interview after spending hours at the local bar. That’s what incoming NFL freshman and top-5 first-round talent Randy Gregory did. The Nebraska defensive end slipped to the sixtieth slot of Round 2, where the Cowboys selected him. The dysfunctional Cowboys can only help the bipolar Gregory make the NFL a short career.

Another talented but troubled young man in the form of LSU offensive tackle La’el Collins was signed by America’s Team on Thursday as an undrafted free agent. Collins, viewed by scouts as a top-10 draft pick, is being grilled about a double homicide involving a pregnant former female “associate”. While the signing is a minor financial risk and deepens the embarrassment of riches on the O-line the Cowboys will be further killed in the court of public opinion.

Much to the Giants fan base’s humor, should be brutal watching this team blow up this fall.

Please comment below, find me on Twitter (@CheesyBruin) and come back tomorrow for a man who is used to see his team – the Buffalo Bills – blow up, DJ Eberle.

Share Button
About Cheesy Bruin 491 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.