Sports Rhyme Time with Cheesy Bruin

imagesCKQOHRC8PLYMOUTH ROCK, MA – Some of us are still celebrating our country’s Independence Day but and with that lack of sobriety comes a spike in creativity. Or at least a stretching of reality. With that comes today’s sports rhyme time.  Where you see the ellipses, follow with the words…

Born…It’s a rarity these days to find July 4th birthdays because obstetricians don’t want to be bothered on holidays. Don’t try calling the answering service unless that kid’s head is playing peek-a-boo from that gash. Case and point–the most recent sports “stars” with a birthday are QB Josh McCown and NBA twins Horace and Harvey Grant.

Corn…There’s nothing more American than baseball shared among father and sons. Throw in the corn producing state of Iowa and you have the backdrop to Field Of Dreams–a great movie. “Hey Dad, ya wanna have a catch?”

Dorn…Make it a baseball double-feature by watching Major League to see Corbin Bernsen in character as the up-tight Cleveland Indians third baseman Roger Dorn. He can’t handle ground balls and cheats on his wife until the Mrs. beds “Wild Thing” Ricky Vaughn.

Gone…Often, there used to be Sunday doubleheaders during my childhood and before that, holiday twinbills were the norm in MLB. Can’t remember the last time I saw a team schedule one of sports’ rarest of rarities. The business of baseball has added green to our red, white, and blue colors.

Horn…don’t forget to call your mom over the holiday weekend. I mean, if former NFL wide receiver Joe Horn could find time during a Monday Night Football telecast while celebrating one of his four touchdowns, you can do the same while grillin’ and chillin’.

Kilorn…As in the Tampa Bay Lightning’s Alex Kilorn who netted the Eastern Conference Finals game-winning goal against the New York Rangers at Madison Square Garden.

Mourn…R.I.P. New York Mets offense. Write an obituary in the comments section for the team’s moribund efforts at the plate.

Jada's best ASS-ets
Jada’s best ASS-ets

Porn…While porn is an activity, some of us make it a sport of sorts. Today is adult film actress (is that what they’re calling it these days?) Jada Stevens’ 27th birthday. Her resume includes 28 film award nominations with 4 wins–her first for work in the 2012 hit Ass Worship 13.

Torn…Turn back the clock to the glory days of the WWF when Hulk Hogan headlined main events by tearing those bright yellow Hulkamania shirts when getting ready to grapple.


Worn on the fifth of July by those dirty, cheap Mets fans who have nothing clean or new to wear but those rags given out during Free Shirt Friday at CitiField.

Yawn…Nothing on television but baseball, women’s soccer, rugby, tennis, or golf.

Zorn…If you have time to kill, throw his name on youtube to see what this guy did as quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks back in the day. Some guy named Largent was on the receiving end of many touchdowns.

Share Button
About Cheesy Bruin 491 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.