Born-Again Baseball Fan Now Mets Fan

Mets Fan Cheesy Bruin and Junoir Blaber… or Hap & Leonard?!

ROOSEVELT AVENUE, QUEENS, NY– It was a banner day at Citi Field Shea Park for the 2016 season’s home opener and if the first game is a harbinger of things to come, then the 81 home dates will be both fun and successful… in all together different ways. Friday marked my first game as a born-again baseball fan rooting for my favorite new team, the New York Mets. Here are some highlights and observations from the day at the ballpark:

There I am, with the cap on.

Booze: Any game day begins with a tailgate and once I found the Meet The Matts VIP (Very Inebriated People) Party, things got rolling only the way alcohol normally assists. While Angry Ward favorite, Mayor Bill DeBlasio was throwing out the ceremonial first pitch we were somewhere outside the stadium waiting on queue to be frisked and metal-detected. We missed the first inning but more importantly I managed to smuggle Junoir Blaber’s metal flask under my Kangol. It was surprisingly easy in what seemed like an uptick in security supplied by NYPD K-9 units and helicopters. Beer prices inside were the norm I suppose: $12 for all beer except for the Michelob Ultra I purchased at $9 a pop

th2FHSWC16Mrs. Met: I don’t know when this happened but Mr. Met all of a sudden has a mate. Drinking enough beer and a little Jim Beam, this female character looks pretty good, and if Mr. Met wants some competition, I’ll be up to the task. With a cranium that large, it’s almost impossible for Mrs. Met not to rest her head in a born-again fan’s lap.

Bathrooms: Opening Day has larger crowds and longer lines and the facilities aren’t enough to accommodate fans. At fifty deep to hit the porcelain, at least one fan in a Doc Gooden jersey couldn’t hold his bladder and opted to take a wiz on the front wall of the building – much to the amusement of bathroom goers.

Creativity: As I sat in the airspace of rightfield with Junoir Blaber, we were entertained by a fan wearing the grayish Mets road jersey with the #7. Clearly an old Jose Reyes uniform, this cheap bastard didn’t want to spend money on a new one, but took the effort of duct-taping and printing the name d’Arnaud with a bunch of Bic pens on the back.

The highlight of between innings entertainment was the segment called YO habla espanol? featuring slugger Yoenis Cespedes tutoring the crowd with a Spanish Word of the Day. Friday’s word was hogar (home) and Yo-Peds chimes in on various “crackers” as they try to use and pronounce the word. A stroke of genius.

Short Matt, cnc63, Junoir Blaber, Cheesy Bruin

By the seventh inning the Mets blew the game open and apparently was enough for one young fan who looked ill and whose parents found a new use for a souvenir plastic helmet. Upon exiting, the young girl was prompted by mom to use the cap as a receptacle in case she had to blow chunks.

Mets tailgate
Mets tailgate

As cnc63 and I made our way back to the car, the tailgate sections were a disaster area of empty cups, bottles, cans and assorted trash not seen in the city since the NYC Department of Sanitation went on strike in the 1970’s. But all in all it was a great day, as continued success is ahead for the Mets and their [born-again] fans.

Come back tomorrow for the A-Rod of MTM, DJ Eberle, who could care less about his MTM teammates’ work. He’s the guy fans and fellow pundits love to hate.


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About Cheesy Bruin 491 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.