Year of Death, Rangers Futility, NFL Trades, Long Baseball Season

Keith Richards - Dirt's older brother
Keith Richards – Dirt’s older brother

EL BARRIO, EL BRONX – While my fellow MTM pundits/vagrants have already touched upon some of today’s topics, I still want the world to know my booze-soaked thoughts (I remembered I had to write something after midnight at a bar with buddy, six pints of Schaefer deep). With that, here’s our headline and topics: Year of Death, Rangers Futility, NFL Trades, and The Long Baseball Season.

Year of Death: Boy, the heavens all-star jam group for 2016 is going to be impressive. Prince, Bowie, Lemmy (if he made it there) and Glenn Frey. Who will play drums? Not sure but Frey seemed talented enough to pick it up. The year is not even half over, so who knows? Wait! I need eyes on Stevie Wonder right now, people! Put him in bubble-wrap. And someone find the virgin blood that Betty White is feeding on and start sharing it with other legends. Also, Keith Richards needs to open up on what deal he made with the Devil to outlive us all. At the end of time it will be just him and the cockroaches, I swear!

Prince
Will King Henry & Rangers follow Prince?

NY Rangers Futility: The Rangers got smashed at home by the Pittsburgh Penguins, losing 3-1 and then 5-0 in games 3 and 4. Wow! That is embarrassing and they are now down 3-1 with game 5 today at 3pm in Tittsburgh Pittsburgh. Did King Henry Lundqvist boink somebody’s wife? Every effin playoff year, he is abandoned and expected to stop all the shots. He fights through a cut near his eye, concussion and everything else and the attack abandons him!His defenders are too slow to help relieve the pressure. As a Rangers fan, I have had it! When they lose this weekend and are eliminated, get rid of Alain “Viggy” Vigneault! Call up Mike Keenan (one can dream) or one of the coaching Sutter bros and get this team re-tooled. Faster on the flanks, younger defensemen and guys with more of an edge… because Hank only has another 3 years in him max. If we can find a back-up, that allows him to limit his minutes during the season.

Browns fansNFL Trade: The Cleveland Browns maybe learning something. After having uses 2435.6 different quarterbacks since 1999, the Browns may have learned something. New team GM Sashi Brown (really is his last name and no, he is not related to the Brown family. I think?) is out to do things differently. Apparently, Brown is big into analytics, look away Big Al, and he is using that to save the Browns. Brown had the Browns – tee hee –  trade away the No.2 pick to the Philadelphia Eagles. The Eagles sent five draft picks to the Browns: the No. 8 pick in the first round, a third-round pick (77th overall) and a fourth-round pick (100th overall) in this year’s draft, a first-round pick in 2017 and a second-round pick in 2018. Cleveland also sends a fourth-round pick in 2017 to the Eagles. With two quarterbacks signed already in veteran NFLers, Sam Bradford and Chase Daniels, I don’t see the Eagles trading up to grab a project QB, it seems weird to do that, so I am not sure what the Eagles are thinking. Like the Browns, Philly has a new coach and front office. *Hopefully they suck. (*Editor’s note).

schaeferbeerLong Baseball Season: I have to remind myself how long the baseball season is because the Mets slow start gave me a “here we go again” feeling. Now that they are heating up, I am starting to get excited. But the season is long, like super long. So anything can still happen, good or bad. It best to watch and wait until 10 games after the All-Star break. That is when it gets serious! But that won’t stop me from writing or complaining about the Mets… I will just turn it down from 11.

That is it for now, come back tomorrow for Cheesy Bruin.

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About Junoir Blaber 457 Articles
Junoir Blaber is from Ghana but was transplanted to the Bronx as a young lion chaser. Blaber is the Rain Man of Meet The Matts and is a featured contributor on MTM global partner, Rugby Wrap Up. The name "Junoir" is not a cool African name. Instead, Blaber mis-typed "Junoir" on his Facebook page. But proving that two wrongs indeed do make a right, he embraced his new persona - [June-noire]... Manute Bol is his uncle and his teams are the Mets, Jets, Knicks & NY Rangers... And Manchester United. He knows soccer. [Vomit]. P.s... He has webbed toes and came be followed on Twitter here: @JunoirBlaber