SAN FRANCISCO, CA – West Coast trips historically make or break the NY Mets… and the history hasn’t been good. Just ask Willie Randolph and now… Assdribble Asdrúbal Cabrera.
Randolph infamously got fired on the Left Coast – where the Flushing Bay Flounders just lost a 4-game series to the Brooklyn Dodgers of Chavez Ravine in Los Angeles. If that weren’t bad enough, Cabrera got word he is no longer the shortstop. That’s right, he’s being moved to 2nd base because Wilmer Flores and TJ Rivera, natural second-sackers whom Terry Collins admittedly struggles to find ABs for, apparently aren’t grown-ups yet and need to stay in Little League limbo. But really, Cabrera shouldn’t be ticked-off about this. Moreover, his pouting and subsequent stance won’t exactly
“Personally, I’m not really happy with that move. If they have that plan, they should have told me before I came over here. I just told my agent about it. If they have that plan for me, I think it’s time to make a move. What I saw the last couple of weeks, I don’t think they have any plans for me. I told my agent, so we’re going to see what happens in the next couple weeks.”
Enough, Assdribble! You knew it was just a matter of time before you lost your job to the next Mets savior, Amed Rosario! Wait. What’s that? It’s not Rosario they’re moving Cabrera for? It’s actually for Jose Reyes?! Oh, come on! He’s an even older shortstop with diminished skills and range and didn’t single-handedly keep the team afloat last year with his steady play. In fact, this writer incorrectly pooh-poohed the signing of El Cabster and has been completely wrong about him from the get-go.
So what do we make of all this? On the surface it looks like another professional athlete asking everyone to share in his big bowl of crybaby soup. But really, couldn’t we translate Cabrera’s words in this way:
“I’ve broken my balls for this sh!tshow for two years, played hurt and hustled my tail off every play, all for a relative bargain of 8.5 million and what do I get? I get bumped from my position for Hip-Hip Jose Frickin’ Reyes?! Stop the ride, I want to get off!”
That’s all for now, please opine below and come back tomorrow for perpetual pouter, Cheesy Bruin.
