ARLINGTON, TX – With the NFL draft approaching, MLB off and running, the NCAA Final Four locked and loaded, and the NHL and NBA coming down the home stretch, there is plenty to talk about. But did you see that Texas Rangers SS Elvis Andrus chose Baby Shark as his walkout song? Everything else is out the window.
If you don’t know the song, close this post and be grateful. If you hear it for three seconds, it’s guaranteed to be jammed in your head for days. All you can do is listen to I’m Too Sexy on repeat and hope it eventually bumps Baby Shark to the back burner of your brain.
To any parent with a young kid, Elvis has become the most hated player in sports. Dozens of baseball writers are reconsidering their votes to keep Pete Rose, Mark McGwire, and Barry Bonds out of the Hall of Fame, as their crimes don’t seem that bad anymore. Since this has derailed me anyway, let’s name some famous athletes nicknamed “Baby” or “Shark.”
Greg “The Shark” Norman
Norman was originally called “The Great White Shark” due to his blond hair, aggressive style, and his native Australia’s famous coastal predator. It was later shortened.
The affable Aussie spent 331 weeks as the top-ranked golfer and managed to win two majors, but he is most famous for the epic collapse in the 1996 Masters. Norman blew a six stroke lead with an ugly 78 on the final round and ended up losing by five strokes. Ouch.
Jeff “Shark” Samardzija
One of his Notre Dame teammates nicknamed the pitcher “Shark” because he looked like the shark in Finding Nemo. He had a decent career as a starting (mostly) pitcher for the Cubs, A’s, White Sox, and Giants racking up 69 wins with a career 4.15 ERA. He also had 179 receptions and over 2,500 yards receiving in college for the Irish.
But his biggest accomplishment seems to be getting a five year $90 million contract from the Giants in spite of the fact that he had never won more than 11 games in a season. He had some injury trouble and ended up winning 22 games for the Giants in four seasons, costing them over $4 million per win. He also looks a bit little Kenny Powers, which is nice. Shark was of Serbian descent, in case you were wondering about Samardzija.
Ronald “Big Baby” Davis
The nickname was given to him by a youth coach. He was so big he couldn’t play with kids his age. When he felt he was being pushed around by the older kids, the coach would tell him “Stop crying, you big baby.”
Davis was a NBA power forward/center for the Celtics, Magic, and Clippers. He had a mediocre career, though he did average over 15 points per game playing for the Magic in 2012-13.
His claim to fame is body slamming Shaquille O’Neal at an LSU basketball camp. He is still playing in some Canadian league I didn’t know existed.
Ole “The Baby-faced Assassin” Gunnar Solskjaer
You thought I was going to go with Steph Curry here, but Ole is the OGBFA. Or maybe it was a boxer or a wrestler, but lots of guys had the moniker before Curry.
But I went with Solskjaer, the Norwegian striker who scored 91 goals for Manchester United and stayed on in a coaching role after retiring due to knee injuries.
Gunnar was also awarded the First Class Knighthood of the Royal Norwegian Order of St. Olav by King Harald V of Norway. So he’s got that going for him.
There’s no way to wrap this up neatly, so I’ll end with some words from the great Kenny Powers:
Fundamentals are a crutch for the talentless.
Do do do do. Come back tomorrow for the baby sardine, Angry Ward. Follow us on Twitter at @BenWhit8, @MeetTheMatts, @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.