NEW YORK, NY – If you’re like me, you’re looking at EVERYONE/ANYONE like they could potentially turn you into a White Walker. If you don’t know what that is, yours truly just handed you one the G.O.A.T. binge-opps in Game of Thrones. I’d throw Peaky Blinders, The Americans, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul and Longmire in there but that’s not what this column is about. It is as the above advertises: Stars To Be Quarantined With, Who Mets Shoulda Kept, Best Owners In Sports.
Stars To Be Quarantined With
Girls just wanna have fun, right? Well, so do bald white guys – especially (or expescially, as one of my colleagues in the rugby booth says, placing me in a Larry David situation live on mic EVERY TIME) during extended lock-downs. And while that fun does not include a lot of the stuff that Lou Albano’s daughter covets, Captain Lou shows just one more of his talents – acting – that make him somebody we’d like to holed-up with [Ahem]. Think of the entertainment value and stories he’d have to tell re the WWF/WWE guys on the road, partying, living the life. We could Facetime or Zoom with one more entertaining personality to the next. Heck, I’ve had the pleasure of hanging with John Bradshaw Layfield, and he’s a hoot. With characters like him, the days would fly by… like Noah Syndergaard’s dominant days. #Boom. #DropTheMic
Who The Mets Shoulda Kept
The only reason the news of Noah Syndergaard’s Tommy John surgery doesn’t painfully cut like a knife gut like a machete is because Covid-19 is killing people and scaring the bejesus out of the rest of us when it isn’t. In other words, the Greek Tragedy that is the Mets becomes more like the news that Tom & Mrs. Hanks have the virus; it’s unsettling but in the grand scheme of things you know they will live and your life will continue somewhat normally. But great googly moogly… It’s as though Mets fans have been cast in a life-long episode of The Twilight Zone, written by Bill Shakespeare. It’s mostly a tragically awful experience for those involved and mainly for the bemusement of others, who watch the suffering unfold in unfathomable ways. The Curse of The Wilponzis has now taken Thor from us, whom will undoubtedly go down as Matt Harvey II. 
Indeed, the plight of anything surrounding the Mets is summed up by these words from F. Scott Fitzgerald:
“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past [1986].”
They shoulda kept Zack Wheeler. He already had TJ surgery, was always better down the stretch and didn’t care about who was behind the dish. He just wants to have fun.
Best Owners In Sports
If ever a group of owners had the opportunity to claim “just business,” it was the moment those in Major League Rugby announced the canceling of #MLR2020. 
The league was in its third season, drawing interest from new fans and enticing global stars with the opportunity to live and work in places like NYC, Boston, D.C., San Diego, New Orleans and other cool/unique locales. Yet, while the bigger and more well-funded professional set-ups around the globe are telling all players their salaries will be cut, MLR owners are paying their players in full, despite only playing 5 of the 16 games. And sure, the salaries are paltry in comparison to American pro sports averages, but they are what 99% of the players rely on for rent and food. That makes this move by the league’s 12 ownership groups stand out. It was one of those unfortunately rare situations in which a diverse group of business types got together and – get this – did the right thing. We’re all programmed to criticize but sometimes we need to salute. Take a bow, MLR owners. Kudos. (Anything in the flu fund for broadcasters?)
There you have it. Comment below and come back tomorrow for a man that is never “just business,“ Cheesy Bruin. But first, here’s more from Captain Lou & Friends.
