NEW YORK, NY – Thank the gods in all the heavens for Elisha Nelson Manning IV. Without “Eli,” Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr. would have 8 SUPER BOWL RINGS. Think about that. EIGHT. And while Manning had his share of stinker performances and has a long line of critics, including the likes of Cowboys fan Grinding Ax Walt, the recent #COVID recoveree that called him Eli Gump, he was and is a potential NFL Hall of Fame QB. There’s no shame, therefore, in Tom Brady being 0-2 vs Elisha in Big Games. There would be plenty o’ shame, however if Tompa Brady lost to any of our Top 5 Worst QBs To Win The Super Bowl.
NICK FOLES
If you listen, you can hear the collective “harrumph” and pounding of fists across the Keystone State of Pennsylvania. The mere notion of this Philly pholklore legend even being considered must be pholly. Yet I say it’s phact. (I’ll stop with ph thing now). The way I see it, Folsie was as overrated as they come and was in the right place at the right time. Did he play well in Buddy Diaz’s Eagles‘ Super Bowl win? Yes. But Mickey Hatcher owned the 1988 post-season for the Dodgers (sorry, Kirk Gibson). Sometimes mediocre players shine on their sports’ biggest stage and then go back to being mediocre. I’m looking at you, Daniel Murphy, Mario Manningham and David Tyree. Hell, Nicholas Edward Foles couldn’t beat out Mitchell Trubisky in Chicago. ‘Nuff said.
BRAD JOHNSON
James Bradley Johnson proves that Jon Gruden is one helluva football coach. SUPER BOWL QB FUN FACT: Only Steve Grogan had a longer neck than Johnson’s long shaft [ahem]. The best thing one can say about BJ is that he was one tough hombre and played hurt. But Gruden and the best Super Bowl defense since the Monster’s of Midway and/or the Big Blue Wrecking Crew were responsible for his ring.
https://youtu.be/37rgeRg926Q
MARK RYPIEN
Mark Robert Rypien was a Super Bowl MVP, yet never had a better completion percentage than 59.1 with the Redskins WFT. He was also surrounded by quality talent on both sides of the ball, so the conclusion here is that he just wasn’t very good. But he was better than Jay Schroeder, has a hot, athletic daughter and was significantly better than the guy he replaced…
DOUG WILLIAMS
You want to know how good Joe Gibbs was as a coach and how good those Washington teams were? Douglas Lee Williams has the answer. His career completion percentage was just 49.5, yet Gibbs & Co were so good they not only got him a ring, they had him hoisting the Super Bowl MVP Trophy, like his fellow shatty WTF QB Rypien. Did you know he has a net worth of 87 million after his positions in Game Stop calls went through the roof? The guy has a charmed life.
We interrupt this thingy to bring you an important message…
Joe Namath is not, and should not be, on this list. If ever there was a player to bolster the argument that stats don’t tell the real story, look no further than Joseph William Namath. He was the Eli of his generation and has more Super Bowl rings than fellow AFC legends Dan Fouts, Dan Marino, Jim Kelly and Hubit Chakockoff. Back off, Broadway Joe bashers. Jim Plunkett has also been omitted. The guy won to Super Bowls and a Heisman. He wasn’t that bad.
Now back to our regular programming…
TRENT DILFER
Pretty much anyone with a pulse would put Trent Farris Dilfer on the top of this list. When your defense allows but 23 total points in the entirety of the postseason, you have a pretty good chance to win. Heck, Jonny Manziel or Brady Quinn could have won with that team. But you know what? They didn’t. And here’s to you, Trent Dilfer, for getting the job done and leaving us all asking ourselves, “Could I have been on the Top 5 Worst QBs To Win The Super Bowl list?”
Speaking of bashers, come back tomorrow for Cheesy Bruin’s sickening soliloquy about Boston Bruins icon Mike Milbury getting dumped for insensitive comments about Tuukka Rask, or his being wrong about Doc Emrick‘s replacement. In the meantime, though, leave your thoughts below.
