STAMFORD, CT – In a strange #NFL year with more ups and downs than a parked car in Hunt’s Point, there are a few constants. Two of them are freaking Tom Brady and Bill Belichick. In #NHL news, we had a strange glove throwing incident by a Rangers’ player and a biting incident by an ex-Ranger. And James Dolan might have gotten something right. Let’s get after it.
F#cking Brady and F@cking Bellichick
If the Seahawks pull out this game against the WFT tonight (editor’s note, they didn’t), then the New York Giants would be the Dexter Lawrence off-sides on a FG away from being IN the last wildcard spot. What a strange season. It’s really hard to pick the good teams. But you know what team is good. The Freaking New England Patriots.
When Brady and Belichick split up, you figured at least one of them would suck without the other. And if God existed, maybe both would suck on their own. Last year it looked like Billy B was the impostor. But now with Mac Jones in the fold and all the defensive opt outs back in the mix, things are looking up in New England. And Brady is still rolling in Tampa. There is no god.
I thought we were done with this two but it might actually be worse now. What if these two meet in the Super Bowl? One of them has to win. It’s possible that these two will trade titles for the next five years. I don’t know if I can deal with that.
Ruski Hate and Flying Gloves
In case you missed it, super douche Brad Marchand somehow angered Artemi Panarin so much that he threw his glove at him from the bench. Rumor has it that Marchand said something about his country, how none of the other Russians like him… or something like that. NBC had Marchand miked for the game, so they have the audio. Can we find some intern to leak it? Otherwise I’ll have to guess what Marchand said:
“Why do they call you ‘Bread Man?’ Is it because your momma used to wait in bread lines?”
‘“You skate like Putin.”
“Did you take that sabbatical last year to film Leprecaun 8?”
NOTE: I just looked it up and there are really seven of those movies, including Leprechaun 4: In Space and Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood.
The Rat just got a three-game suspension, not for his anti-Ruski jawing, but for slew-footing. Slew-footing is the worst. There’s no way to defend it. They should give longer suspensions for repeat offenders like Marchand and Subban. Otherwise, Ryan Reaves should go a John Wick style fighting spree.
In other weird NHL news, ex-Ranger Claude Lemieux bit one of the Tkachuk brothers in a scrum. Supposedly Tkachuk also told Lemiuex that no one likes him. What’s up with these weak NHL chirps that sound more like something you’d hear on an elementary school playground? “Yeah, well no one even likes you Claude. And you eat boogers.”
Did James Dolan Get Something Right?
The Rangers won that game in impressive fashion. After getting roughed up in the first period, they got it together and controlled the next two periods. I know the analytics nerds have raised some red flags about the Rangers’ lack of possession, and I think it’s true that the fast start has largely been on the back of another Ruski, Igor Shesterkin. But still, this team has a different feel.
It hit home in the last game against the Islanders when not-so-heavyweights Adam Fox and Alexie Lafreniere chucked knuckles (sort of) in defense of Ryan Lindgren after a cheap hit by JJ Pageau. Could James Dolan have been right about the Rangers needing toughness now? It seemed like he acted rashly but this team seems to fit together now with a legitimate fourth line and much more defined roles.
It looked like the Blueshirts were going to get another cheap win on Sunday against a depleted Islanders team with about half the team on the covid list. But alas, the game was cancelled. I won’t make any cracks about how the NHL said it only has four unvaccinated players. Or how this is now the second game the Rangers have had to cancell because half of a team got #Covid. I wouldn’t do that.
Come back tomorrow for a man who owns all seven Leprechaun movies on beta, Angry Ward. Follow us on Twitter at @benwhit, @MeetTheMatts, @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.
