Angry Ward Tuesday: The Worst of 2021

"I just don't want to shave it! And this kid will be bald by 28."

*Big Ben Whitney had an unexpected drive from Detroit to Stamford, so Angry Ward graciously took the ball today.

BRONX, NY – Well, we’re coming down the homestretch of 2021. This is usually the time of year everyone in print, digital, and on TV vomit up some type of year end list. It’s the easiest possible assignment for hacks everywhere and, friends, I don’t want to disappoint you. Break out the rancid eggnog. Here now, Ward’s Worst of 2021!

Worst Coaching Hire. Lots of candidates here, but the New England Patriots would have to fire Bill Belichick tomorrow and hire Adam Gase as his replacement to even have a shot at Jacksonville’s hiring of Urban Meyer. From ditching his team for a night of hideous lap dances to kicking his kicker, the guy was such an abject disaster that you have to believe he will one day be a State Senator or head of the NCAA.

Worst Loss. Losing our own Trevor Herrick (Replacement Matt/Dude) this year was far worse than anything a team or individual athlete could construct. It was the Atlanta Falcons blowing a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl times 100. Trevor was an absolute “glue guy” on this roster, the type of person you can’t replace. And we never will.

Worst Herb. For the 50th straight year, it’s Cilantro! You wanna talk about a dreadful dynasty? JG Clancy buys it in bunches and BOGOs, but it’s still undefeated as the most vile weed around.

Worst Combover. New York Knicks HC, Tom Thibodeau. Tommy Boy, it’s over. Trust us. Shave that dome a take your rightful place among your bald brethren here on the MTM Death Ship. [*insert maniacal laughter here]

 

Worst Trade. A lot of candidates here as well, but the LA Rams giving up second and third round picks in next year’s draft for 32-year-old museum piece Von Miller was downright dumb. Rams are going for it in a year when no team (not even the Rams) looks like they’re head and shoulders above the rest. They don’t win it now, they ain’t gonna win it for a long time.

Worst Wurst. No winners here. Every hot dog I consumed this year was darn good. Ward word to the wise though, if Short Matt ever throws a BBQ again, avoid the Tofu Pups at all costs.

Worst Look. I was going to say it was Aaron Rodgers and his lame lie, and then I was going to say the Nets totally caving and bringing back Kyrie Irving to play road games, but it’s gotta be ME, still toiling away here.

Worst Knockout. I wasn’t about to watch the fight, but all the replays of Jake Paul’s “knockout” of Tyron Woodley were hilarious. I haven’t see someone lay down like that since the movie Diggstown.

Worst Indecisive Decision. The Yankees bringing back Aaron Boone. Unless you’re not a Yankees fan, which then makes it the best.

Worst Fumble. Getting this one in just under the wire but, if you close 2021 NOT watching the Odd Couple Marathon on New Year’s Eve, you are making a grave mistake.

That’s all for me for today and 2021. Happy and healthy 2022 to all!

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About Angry Ward 661 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.