STAMFORD, CT – Happy March! It’s always good to put February in the rear-view, but the last thing I feel like doing right now is trying to write something witty funny mildly entertaining. But the last time I forgot, Matt M (aka Short Matt) showed up at my house wearing a Bane mask and purple tights, while cranking Peter Gabriel songs on a boom box. I’m not sure what he was doing, but I am sure that don’t want it to happen again. So let’s get to work. It’s a pretty lame time of year on the calendar, so let’s browse SportsCenter and see what we can come up with.
Adonis Arms
Texas Tech basketball has a dude named Adonis Arms. That sounds like the bad guy in a cheesy 80s action movie. Arnold voice: “Get to the chopper, Adonis Arms is getting away.” Or a character Dirk Diggler came up with. My arms have been described as “Adonis arms” but that might not be relevant.
Whatever ESPN host this is thinks “they’re a threat to win the whole shebang because they make you play how you don’t want to play.” They’re definitely losing in the first round.
Kyrie and Ja
So Kyrie Irving may soon be able to go to Nets games and sit in the stands because the mandate will be lifted in the city, but not play because of the private business rules. It’s science. Let the freaking guy play in Brooklyn already.
Holy Ja Effing Morant. If you haven’t seen the highlights from his performance last night, stop what you’re doing and get there.
Is there any doubt that Zion Williamson over Ja can already be added to the Mount Rushmore of the biggest draft whiffs of all time – with Sam Bowie over MJ and Greg Oden over Kevin Durant? He sure would have been fun on the Knicks. Curse you, ping pong ball!
Nyet, Says the NHL
The NHL is going to pause all Russian social media and digital sites. That’ll show Putin. Dang it, I was so close to learning how to say “Long live Igor, the real king” in Russian.
MLB Lockout
Apparently the two sides were negotiating into the wee hours on the baseball lock out. “The situation is fluid…” some ESPN reporter said about seven times. There is a lot to work out, but the two sides are not walking away from each other! Do you think baseball can really afford missed games when the average fan is as old as Methuselah.
If a steroid needle falls to the floor in a baseball stadium, but no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? If games are cancelled I’m out. Don’t test me, Manfred!
Come back tomorrow for Angry Ward. Follow us on Twitter at @BenWhit8, @MeetTheMatts, @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.
