Angry Ward Wednesday: The NFL, NBC, and Roger Goodell Can F**k Right Off

"Not Too Swift" Roger Goodell, NFL, NBC and Peacock: Banking on Taylor Swift?

NEW YORK, NY – Let’s skip the pleasantries and just get right down to it today. I know full-well that nothing truly stays the same, and so-called progress stops for no one, but what the NFL, NBC, and sniveling Bronxville Brat Roger Goodell are doing with the Dolphins/Chiefs playoff game this weekend just sucks.

Yep, Saturday night at 8, football fans are going to be treated to an intriguing matchup between Miami and Kansas City… just so long as they subscribe to NBC’s streaming service, Peacock. WTF??? Talk about a c*ck move. Don’t the NFL, NBC, and Goodell make enough money (seat licenses, anyone?) without squeezing fans/viewers for even more? You think I’m gonna pony up extra dough to watch Kadarius Toney line up for a play somewhere in South St. Louis and Marquez Valdes-Scantling send Patrick Mahomes into a permanent RBF?

You just know they’re all looking to cash in on all the Swifities showing up, as well as Andy Reid’s loyal legion of groupies. Then, when the game’s over, you can settle in and binge Parks and Rec reruns to your heart’s content. Well worth it.

Yessir, the NFL putting this game behind a paywall stinks every bit as much as the Carolina Panthers. I haven’t listened to a football game on the radio in years, does that still happen? It would be extra fun if they had old-timey radio voices saying stuff like “razzle-dazzle” and “the old Statue of Liberty play” and “Bricka-Bracka-firecracker sis boom bah! Bugs Bunny, Bugs Bunny, rah-rah-rah!” You get my drift. But, knowing the NFL, even the radio broadcast is on Satellite XM or something.

So, instead of watching Chiefs/Fins this Saturday, I’ll most likely be watching some sort of post-Christmas winter movie (not yet, time for Hot Dog: The Movie) and checking the score of the game on my phone. This is the hand the NFL, NBC, and Goodell have dealt. I won’t judge you if you decide to do a quick subscription to see the game then dump it immediately. Well, I won’t judge you much.

To end today’s completely lackluster effort, I will say that I think the Tennessee Titans are absolute morons for firing Mike Vrabel. After that team wasted Derrick Henry his first two years in the league, Vrabel knew he had a great running back. Who knows, maybe they end up on the same team again next year.

That’s all for today. Come back tomorrow for the Iggles fan from Harlem, Buddy Diaz!

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About Angry Ward 772 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.