STAMFORD, CT – There’s a lot going on in the NFL. Things are fluid, and it’s hard to tell if there are teams that are good at football on a regular basis. Things are looking rough for the Jets while the Giants have a bit of hope. Some other stuff is happening too. Let’s get to it.
Pregame Chaos in Indy
The 5-1 Colts, and the resurgence of Danny Dimes, is one of the biggest stories in the NFL. But what in the Dickerson is going on at their pregame warm-ups? First, CB Charvarius Ward got weeble-wobbly with a concussion after colliding with a teammate. And then backup QB Anthony Richardson fractured an orbital bone in his eye with a resistance band. Ouch. What the…?
Who’s in charge of warm-ups over there, Lloyd Christmas? “Okay then, you guys run some routes right over there next to those guys stretching. And Anthony, really stretch the band. Yeah, like that, but higher.”
J.O.K.E.
The -10 net passing yards by the Jets in London was the worst output since Ryan Leaf had -17 for the Chargers a few years back. If a sentence ends with “first time since Ryan Leaf” there’s a zero percent chance that it started with something good. Isn’t that guy in jail?
But there’s no truth to the rumor that Arch Manning, once projected to be the top pick in the draft, is intentionally playing poorly to avoid the Jets.
Things overheard in London after the Jets game:
“You say they’re allowed to throw the ball forward? Ok then mate, why haven’t the Jets gotten a guy who can do that? Crikey!”
“I’ve seen better dust-ups on stage at an Oasis show. Absolute bollocks!”
AFC Madness
If the season ended today, the top seeds in the AFC would be Indy and Pittsburgh. The Patriots would win the AFC East over the Bills. The Jags would be a wildcard, and the Chiefs would be out.
So everything is going just as we expected.
Billy B Living His Best Life
How about a quick check in on our old friend Billy Belichick at North Carolina? The college ranks are not treating him well, sadly. The Tar Heels have a 2-3 record, but both wins were against community college intramural teams. I heard that Bill tried to schedule a game vs the Jets to get another easy win.
I haven’t seen anyone mail it in this hard since Phil Jackson was running the Knicks. I don’t think I’m…. Wait, you want to give me how much?
I’m sure NC’s poor performance has nothing to do with the coach’s 24-year old girlfriend. I’m not one to criticize a man for dating a woman nearly 50 years his junior. If they’re both consenting, there is no victim. Unless you’re a fan of North Carolina, that is.
Jax & Boo
I can’t let you go without talking about the amazing best buddy duo of Jaxson Dart and Cam Skatte-BOOM. These guys have really breathed some life into a franchise on life support, like a couple of frat boys showing up to a party with a keg. Let’s gooo.
This is a buddy cop movie just screaming to be written. Cam’s solution to every problem would be to ram something with his head.
My favorite part of the Eagles win was Dart going into the tent. Pure comedy ensued.
The skit started with the huge collective groan from the crowd as Russ Wilson entered the game. You could feel the “noooo, not again.” You had Daboll (pronounced like “table” as Michael Kay repeated ad nauseum other day on his show) and Scattebo peeking into the tent like nervous girlfriends. Then Daboll berating the doctor for taking a second to check the guy for a concussion. Chill coach. Then Russ threw one into the dirt, not on the same page, or even in the same book, with Jalin Hyatt.
I’m telling you, if Dart didn’t come back in, and the Giants lost that game because of Russ, he would have had a tough time getting out of the building in one piece.
Luckily, Dart came back in and order was restored. The whole team was invigorated by his play. With a win over the Donkeys on Sunday, I might start talking about this team getting into the race. I just might. But Dart had better learn to slide before facing that scary Denver pass rush.
That’s it for me. Come back tomorrow for the president of the Cam Skattebo Fan Club, Angry Ward.
