QUEENS, NY – Monday, Junoir Blaber kept going with his Weekly Mets Update. Well, I’m here for a first-half update. And spoiler alert; it ain’t good. The time has come for Big Steve Cohen to decide if he is going to go on pretending this team can get back in the race or cut bait with an eye on the future. Steve didn’t get rich by betting on long shots, but he might do just that in the second half. Here’s what we’ll be talking about: Mets First Half Wrap Up, Time to Break it Up
How We Got Here
It’s been a suckstorm of a first half for the Mets, who find themselves 6 games under .500, 18.5 games behind the Braves, and 7 games out of the last Wild Card spot. Holy Orosco, that is ugly. That wasn’t how it was supposed to go, with Cohen throwing his money around like Patrick Ewing at a Miami gentlemen’s club. But here were are.
The hitting has been average, with an exact middle-of-the-pack 15th with 405 runs scored. The pitching has been bottom third, with a .439 ERA, 20th in the league.
What Went Wrong
The twin overpaid aging aces have shown signs here and there, but have not been anything close to advertised. Don’t overpay for past glory, Steve. The bullpen has been utterly abysmal, with Adam Ottavino leading the way down the tubes. The offense was as sporadic and inconsistent as my love life in college.
What Went Right
Tommy Pham has been their best player, which is not what you want. Francisco Alvarez has been a bright spot. Senga has been solid. Brandon Nimmo has done his part. Key cogs Alonzo and Lindor have been good but not great. David Robertson has been the lone capable arm in the pen.
Reasons for Optimism
Not many. The six-game winning streak was fool’s gold and the last two losses may have been a blessing in disguise.
In a best-case scenario, the two aces kill it in the second half, they trade for multiple bullpen arms, Lindor and Alonzo are monsters, and they get more contributions from role players. That’s a lot that needs to happen, just to make a miracle run at a wildcard.
Break it Down
It’s been well documented that the Mets league’s largest payroll includes nearly $50 million for guys not on the roster. This includes recent duds such as Robbie Cano, James McCann, and Eduardo Escobar; as well as superstars from the 1980s and 1990s, Brett Saberhagen and Bobby Bonilla. That’s almost as painful as Jenny Mendlebaum going to my junior prom with Artie Agnew instead of me. That guy was the worst.
Anyway, there’s only one way forward. Cohen’s strategy of throwing money at the problem like the ’80s Yankees is not working. They have a huge payroll, old aces, and tons of dead money. An ill-fated run at the wildcard is not the answer. Time to sell, sell, sell, Mortimer.
But watch, he’s going to trade his empire, his firstborn son, all of his draft picks, and his left arm for Shohei Ohtani. They will give him a 10-year extension for $750 million. Then they will finish at .500.
That’s it for me. Be sure to check out Angry Ward when you’re done here.
