Tag: Kate Upton

Big Ben Tuesday: Presidential Booing and Boobs, Good Times in DC for Game 5 of the World Series

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Washington, DC: World Series Game 5 was quite a spectacle. The Astros won the game, but there was something for everyone in this one. Bail for the Chief Don the Con was booed loudly and greeted with chants of “lock him up.” RIP, respect for the office of the President. In a weak and transparent […]

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Blockbuster Blackout MLB Trades You May Not Know Of

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NEW YORK, NY – For those of you just stirring from a coma or hiding in a fallout shelter, there was a Big Apple blackout last night. And boy did things get a little crazy. Many were doing their best Snake Plissken impersonation, as traffic signals made any Escape From New York simultaneously necessary, yet […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: A Penny for Your Thoughts, No More HOF Starting Pitchers, Bryce in Da Bronx

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BRONX, NY – This is my last post before Christmas, and if Management thinks I’m posting ON Christmas (as I’m slated to) they can suck a bag of… er… candy canes. Still there’s plenty to talk about right now, starting with Penny Marshall’s passing yesterday at the age of 75. “Goodbye, Laverne.” Penny Marshall is perhaps best […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Yankees Offense Underacheiving, Primed for Big Second Half

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Stamford, CT: Through Sunday, the New York Yankees have the best record in baseball at 46-21. They are on pace to break the record for most home runs in a season of 264. It has been impressive. But looking up and down the Yankees lineup, there are plenty of guys who are having sub-par years. […]

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NY Rangers Poop a Dud, Bronx Bombers Ready to Detonate

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NEW YORK, NY – The New York Hockey Rangers are off to a terrible start, going 1-5-2 so far after last night’s shootout loss to the Islanders. They’ve struggled to score goals and Alain Vigneault has been mixing up lines already trying to find a mix that works. Nothing has worked so far. The Blueshirts […]

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Dumb Stuff John Elway Would Say, Cards, Cubs, Brewers in Slapfight, Upton, Verlander, Nature Walks

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“When a man moves away from nature his heart becomes hard.” – Lakota proverb. DENVER, CO – It is within the Cubs nature to lose.  It is within the Cardinals nature to win.  It is within the Brewers nature to be irrelevant by the All-Star break unless the Bear Jew (Ryan Braun) takes enough steroids. […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Goalie With Ice Allergy, Unsatisfied Kate Upton, Patriots Doing Dumb Things, Awesome Oscar Snub

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TIMBUKTU, MALI – Welcome to the last day of the worst month of the year. I’m still a few weeks from caring about baseball and about a week away from caring about the NCAA tournament. The Knicks might not be relevant again in my lifetime and I plan to live to 782, like Methuselah. Since […]

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Hey Yankees, Don’t be the NY Rangers at MLB Trading Deadline

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WESTCHESTER, NY – As the MLB Trading Deadline approaches and the New York Yankees hover around .500, the Bronx brass has a decision to make. You always want your team to roll the dice and go for it when they have a chance. And sometimes, a few missing pieces can really revitalize a lineup. The […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: All the Sports News You Can Fit in Kim Kardashian’s Butt

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BRONX, NY – Lots to cover here today, with much of it concerning the ladies, so let’s get right to it. Kim Cracks the Internet. For those of you who have been sleeping in a ditch or in a Giants-induced catatonia, human vacancy sign Kim Kardashian attempted to “break the Internet” last week when Paper […]

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Oscar, Oscar! West Coast Craig with Sports Oscars

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Warding off a trip to the Psyche Ward for behavior untoward the fine wards of this site, as inquired by the stewards, our friend Angry Ward has been rewarded with a major award for the Most Awards Award, awarded by the war department, and cut a deal with the warden for a day off. He’s […]

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