Tag: John Elway

Big Ben Tuesday: Dave “The Dunce” Gettleman’s Nonsensical Post-Draft Babbling Horrifies Giants’ Fans

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East Rutherford, NJ: I’ve been trying to talk myself into the pick of Eli Jr. since the draft. If the New York Giants identified Daniel Jones as the guy, Dave Gettleman had to make sure to get him at six. But several things have chipped away at my efforts to be positive, not the least […]

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Easter Rising: Resurrected Stars, Scapegoats, Surgery. Rocky, Tommy, OJ.

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INDIANA, PA – You trivia buffs (Tall Matt, Mrs. Tall Matt, Replacement Matt) may note that this town is famous for two things: A) It’s where my wife is from B) It’s the home of Jimmy Stewart. The former has yours truly here for Easter, in the bosom of her very nice family. After two […]

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Big Ben: As QBs Start to Move, New York Giants Weigh Their Options

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East Rutherford, NJ – It’s 11 PM and I ain’t got nothin’ done. I don’t want to Karl Malone it in, so I’ll let it fly like Eli Manning and hope for a helmet catch. Speaking of the New York Giants and Eli… Who’s the next QB? In January I threw something together about the 2019 NFL […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Giants Honing in on Saquon Barkley, the Near Perfect Prospect

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Giantland, USA: Saquon Barkley was spotted wearing a New York Giants hoodie in a barber shop over the weekend. He looked glorious. There are a lot of ways the Giants can go, but signs are pointing to Saquon Road. Is he the right pick? My sixteen month old twin daughters are now pretty comfortable on their […]

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Sports Rain Man: USA’s Low Medal Count, Jason Vargas To Mets, Frank Reich To Colts

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EL BARRIO, EL FALLS – It is amazing how despite not caring for the NFL or Winter Olympics, you are forced to mention them when you write a weekly sports article. Especially this time of the year, because there is not much to talk about. Sure, I could talk about Rugby or the upcoming MLS season […]

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Labor Day Weekend Ends Miserable Sports Summer, Starts NHL, MLB Playoffs, Kershaw Flop

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DENVER, CO – It’s Labor Day Weekend and that means summer is coming to a close.  Frankly, I can’t wait for it to be over… from a sports perspective.  For the past three months, the majority of the over-worked, underpaid, over-sauced MTM cohorts have been scrambling to put pen to paper with nothing more to […]

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Dumb Stuff John Elway Would Say, Cards, Cubs, Brewers in Slapfight, Upton, Verlander, Nature Walks

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“When a man moves away from nature his heart becomes hard.” – Lakota proverb. DENVER, CO – It is within the Cubs nature to lose.  It is within the Cardinals nature to win.  It is within the Brewers nature to be irrelevant by the All-Star break unless the Bear Jew (Ryan Braun) takes enough steroids. […]

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Tingling Finger: Mets Quiver With Familia Feeling, Dark Knight Crumbles, Cardinals Fan Is Judge For Jeurys

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Precipice – a very steep rock face or cliff, typically a tall one.  Roman adage – “add insult to injury.”  DENVER, CO – I serve you all with this word, as this is the most fitting palabra that I can think of for the Mets season. I server you with this adage as its origin […]

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A Renaissance Unlike Any Other: Crazy Cardinals Fan Snaps, Weed at Rockies Games, Vonn Nude

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“In this defunct microcosm, eerily similar to the DPRK, the Broncos are the army and John Elway is the peoples’ Dear Leader.” –Cam James MILE HIGH CLUB, CO – When I was just a young boy, I had a baseball coach who liked to use metaphors to explain life lessons.  Generally these lessons were often […]

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Giants and Jerry Reese: Jerry’s Kids Worst Since Son of Sam

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EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ – In Green Bay, it never would have happened. In Denver? Not way in hell.  Foxboro? Keep moving, nothing to see here. Why, oh why, then, could it have happened in God’s Country that is  East Rutherford? It is now officially time to start the clock on the previously Teflon-coated (and deservedly […]

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