St. Patrick’s Day Sports Limericks

McVatican – As a mick and a New Yorker, there is no holiday greater than St. Patty’s Day.  In celebration of my Gaelic roots I thought it appropriate to bestow upon you one if the only linguistic achievements of the motherland and endow it with the local Mattville flavor. Thus, here are my St. Patrick’s Day Sports Limericks.

Once upon a time on St. Patrick’s
Those who remember are likely geriatrics
E’er there was a massacre
Twas a disaster
The Blues killed the Hawks on St. Patrick’s

a_oleary_hi_display_imageThe Irish were in the hands of O’Leary
Until the dean made a query
He liked to get drunk
He smelled like a skunk
And now Notre Dame’s outlook is dreary


If you’re a footballer you should know George Best
His free kick was ‘head all the rest
Just Like Roy Keane
He Bled for the Green
Alas the hooch put him to rest


There was a great man named O’Neil
His talents on the hardwood were real
His free throws were whack
His nickname was Shaq
He could do just about anything but steal
There is a duffer that drowns himself in Baileys
His steaks are covered in gravies
It’s not Graeme McDowell
He looks like a cow
No one’s liver is stronger than John Daly’s

Thirty-percent Cookie ab improvement.
30% Cookie ab improvement.

Tomorrow stay tuned for the Cookie
That is unless she plays hookie
Her body is firm
Her pics make me squirm
What I would give for the nookie

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About Cam James 128 Articles
Cam James hails from Missouri and is a down-the-line St. Louis fan: Rams, Cards, Blues... Thus his occasional "Ram Rules" column. He hates Kansas basketball, lives in Denver, been a wrestler, dabbled in Ultimate Fighting and plays hardball. Oh, and he's Opie Taylor white.