Hallelujah! It’s NFL Preview Time!

jerry_jones Meet_The_Matts
NFL Preview: Jerry Jones looks like an alien.

HOFSTRA, NY – The most recent heat wave had me eating refreshing tomato sandwiches with salt and mayo on Kaiser rolls, so as to do my part in keeping energy usage “on grid” by not using the stove. A very underrated sandwich, by the way – you might want to indulge during the next heat spell.

It was so hot that my dog looked nailed to the floor – like a murder scene chalk outline – and wouldn’t even move to take a leak.  I had to drag him out the door to his favorite tree.

Speaking of peeing on trees…ARod

A hot introduction is thankfully on tap for football fans with the opening of full-on training camps later this week. Jerry Jones, along with the Miami Dolphins, were first to open training camps to full rosters, in hopes of squeezing a few extra dollars from fans and hit the back pages in shameless marketing and promotion.

Hey, at least there’s something on the sports horizon other than the A-Rod and Derek Jeter sagas playing out in The Boogie Down.  America’s pastime is giving way to America’s Game and not a moment too soon.

But with the NFL season comes pressure on me. Management here at MTM demands that my weekly betting advice improves each year. That means I’ll have to top last year’s 67% winning percentage. (If you find it hard to believe, check the archives; the picks are documented). Besting last year’s winning rate every Sunday morning with my, Favorite, Underdog, Under, and Over plays will take hard work and salient analysis. But I will do my homework beat “Your Man.”

Preparation all starts the minute the fat slobs on all 32 teams’ offensive lines strap on the pads and sweat like Texas cattle. The out-of-shape trim down a bit while the disgruntled “hold out” long enough to miss the rigors of two-a-days under the summer swelter. Don’t kid yourself – money is only part of the issue of missing camp with most of these pantie-waist prima donnas.

Speaking of panties… NFL Cheerleaders are in camp, too!

Without getting into detail, there are a few teams worthy of paying close attention to during camps – I’ll expand on that in the coming months… to keep you linked to the site for good reason$ – but for now, escaping major injury, the St.Louis Rams are ready to challenge in the NFC West, while the perennial reversal team in the NFC South this year will be the Tampa Bay Buccaneers…  The most intriguing team in my mind – one set to surprise many in the AFC –  is the Miami Dolphins.

But picking games won’t be all you’ll get from your Sunday visits here. Along the way between exhibition games, roster cuts, and the opening Thursday Night Football game, there will be hints for you Fantasy Football freaks looking for advice; nothing too earth-shattering, since my competition will be taking notes as well.

All in all, though, Baseball be damned – put that crap to rest… ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!

Hell, yeah… West Coast Craig, tomorrow.

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About Cheesy Bruin 491 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.