“You shall no longer be called Lucifer – bringer of Light but – as Satan.”
CHRANTA, CANADA – Welcome all to Deacon Blaber’s Saturday Evangelizing, my bully pulpit for the sporting masses. For the longest time it was thought that calling someone worse than Satan/the Devil was the ultimate insult. If you are a Rangers fan, being worse than the Devils always grates. But in this day and age we now have Godwin’s Law; a theory by radio personality Mike Godwin that the longer an argument/debate goes on between two people publicly, the sooner one will call the other “…worse than Hitler” or the foe’s organization “…worse than the Nazis.” It is a brilliant and true theory.
What does this have to do with today’s sports sermon, your query? Good question. You can’t discuss religion, comedy, sports or politics without Rob “The It boy” Ford popping up. For all his crack-smoking, drunken threats, inappropriate comments and nightmare press conferences, apparently he is actually a good mayor. You know… the old trains run on time, balanced budget, fiscally conservative stuff, which may lead to his re-election in Movember 2014 (yup, we still got another year of Fordsy). That said, today we’ll sub in Rob Ford, the embattled Mayor of Chranta, for Beelzebub and the Nazis and in our Worse Than Rob Ford Sports Comparative.
Baseball: Real Sandy Alderson – The Mets have this horrible, penny-pinching GM. He has gutted the team and mismanaged talented young players like Matt Harvey. His thing only slight positive was re-upping David Wright. However, we have nobody around to help him; RA Dickey is in Toronto and Johan Santana is done. So, what positive has there been from the Sandy Reign!? None!! He’s worse than Rob Ford!
Basketball: James Dolan – Ol’ Jimmie, in his time owning the Garden and everything in it, has beyond ruined the Knicks. Burning draft pick after pick.. There was the Isiah Thomas fiasco (who should still be brought in as a talent evaluator), where he let “Tuss” sexual harass a woman… Worse than that, they made good draft picks and traded them away or let them go in free agency for the bums we have now. Someone needs to tell Dolan that he is no Marc Cuban! You are only eccentric if you win! If not, then you are… worse than Rob Ford!
Hockey: Gary Bettman – The man refuses to move the Phoenix franchise, gave us the Metropolatin Divison and we have 2 lockouts during his tenure. That is the equivalent of the trains not even running! Worse than Rob Ford!
Football: Jerry Jones – Now, there are teams with worse records and ledgers than the Dallas Cowboys, that’s for sure. However, since Jimmy Johnson left Dallas because Jerry’s ego was too big, Dallas only has one Super Bowl win and that was the year after Jimmy left. It was won with Jimmy’s guys. Since then, it has been a slow decent down hill. Jones hires yes man after yes man and suckers in fair-weather fans like Cheesy Bruin (also Worse Than Rob Ford). He is the owner and GM. He owns the kitchen and buys what he wants for groceries and tells the coach/cook to make him a masterpiece meal. Sounds easy but when you need filet mignon (a QB), he comes back with Chicken Back (Quincy Carter) or Meat In A Can (Tony Romo). It only seems right that he hasn’t won in the playoffs in a decade. Jerry Jones is… Worse than Rob Ford!
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P.s… NFL fans might like this: