Baseball Special: America’s Pastime, Opening Day, Derek Jeter

mets ownersSAN DIEGO, CA – The oft-quoted lines from 17th century author Alexander Pope’s Essay on Man have become clichĂ© around the start of every baseball season–words emitting optimism from every team’s fan base including the Mets that “hope springs eternal”. In shortly over a month those words will be swallowed along with hemlock in and around Flushing as a result of poor (merit and finance) ownership and a starting nine with lots of holes. Here’s what is irritating me about baseball…

Part of the ensemble that performed Damn Yankees in 6th grade, one of the songs in the musical is called Six Months Out of Every Year, lamenting a housewife’s life during the length of a baseball season. With the end of March now serving as the sport’s starting point compared to April in the 1950’s, the season is now eight months out of every year.

One hundred sixty-two games just seems like an awful lot to me. The number is double the amount played in the NHL and NBA and many pundits argue the duration of play in the two leagues, so why is baseball charmed and treated differently when talking about their lengthy schedule? Shave about 30-35 games off the season to make winning a little more urgent early in the year and interest might blossom among the current generation and disgruntled fans. The loss of revenue will keep this from ever happening. Too bad.

America’s pastime now opens in a foreign land. This year’s opening two-game set was held in Sydney, Australia, where the Dodgers twice beat the D-backs in the Outback. Out back is where out houses are placed and is where this idea needs to ferment… like the waste in an outside latrine.

America's Team?
America’s Team?

America’s pastime on American soil now opens on a Sunday night. The term Opening Day no longer applies and is nothing more than an oxymoron as the first game occurs under lights and is actually the second day of the campaign. Tonight’s game is at 8 p.m. as the Dodgers are in San Diego to play the Padres. And why does it seem like the Dodgers are being rammed down baseball fans’ throats? Is it coincidence or the Magic Johnson effect? Maybe it’s the subliminal message for female fans with a magic johnson. Enjoy, fellas!

magic-johnson-derek-jeter Meet_The_MattsThis is Derek Jeter’s swan song and while this guy has been vanilla in his response to media members’ questions over the years, his play and conduct have been a model of consistency. In an era of bad-boy, spoiled athletes often running afoul at the mouth and the law, he has stood tall. All I’ll have to stomach is number 2’s cache of presents from every major league team during his farewell tour. Is it really necessary to buy gazillionaires a parting gift as if they were a game show contestant?

April 16th (mark it on your calendars) starts the Stanley Cup Playoffs and just can’t get here fast enough for me!

Tune in tomorrow for our Derek Jeter, West Coast Craig.

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About Cheesy Bruin 491 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.