NEW YORK, NY – COLD ENOUGH FOR YA IN THE NORTHEAST?! Since nothing makes sense lately, I thought this week we’d take a look at a few of the goings-on in the world(s) of “Sport” (as Mitt Romney would say) and Entertainment. So, here’s hoping that my thoughts on Eric Decker to the Jets, Mark Teixeira, Jen Selter, Mayor de Blasio, Scarlett Johannson and Kim K will inspire your commentary, get me off the hook for writing over a word count and getting flogged by Management.
-de Blasio! While catching a bit of his press conference yesterday on the tragic explosion in Harlem, I just came across the fact that he delivers his statement en Espangol, tambien. (SAP for the Spanish hearing-impaired. COMO?! His Spanish SUCKS. Bloomberg’s was muy mejor. Ponder… DEBLASIO is all “I’m NYC and of color.” Why can’t his Espagnol be a little better?
–Kim Kardashian got in a car crash. As a news source says, her “Mercedes war machine” was hit and Kim was “unfortunately uninjured.” (Not MY words people… but feel free to discuss.)
–Broncos: Dreamy Denver wide receiver stud Eric Decker has signed with the NY Jets. INSERT. LARGE. SIGH. HERE.
-Justin Bieber attended (and sang at?) SXSW. (That’s South By Southwest for those of you on a Commodore and Time Warp Tony). Do we NEED anymore proof this thing is such a goddamn dead horse that even the Elmer’s factory doesn’t want it!?!
–Mark Texiera: Keeping with the horse/Elmer’s Glue theme… my boy Tex is BACK… and he got to home base too!
–Scarlet Johannsen! Speaking of back… HOLY SH*T!! Someone KNOCKED UP Scarlet! Someone is gonna have to do an intervention on Angry Ward, who took the above Selter Selfie when he got the news.
And with that…I’m outtie in hopes that this weekend will fair better for weather, sports and entertainment news. Come back tomorrow for the always cheery (and beery) Junoir Blaber.
From The Vault: