Derek Fisher Hooks Knicks, Rangers Seance, Jack Bauer

Brad richards saviorNEW YORK, NY – The crystal balls, rabbit’s feet and throwbacks jerseys are out, along with ANY other superstitions in NY in an effort to “will” these Rangers to the Stanley Cup. The likes of Graves, Buekeboom, Ulf Nilson, Glenn Anderson are among the cavalcade of former Blueshirts headed by none other than the “CaptainMark Messier are  at MSG with a Ouija board trying to spell that word….W-I-N.

I’m tossing salt over my shoulder, rocking a ’94 Messier jersey and itching this darn playoff beard as I feverishly type this but it looks like we will need Jack Bauer and his 24 Live Another Day exploits to pull off the biggest comeback in playoff history!

Since the Knicks are feeling irrelevant, BIG PHIL and Little Leprechaun made their own splash by announcing that they have indeed found their “Fish” to save –not Pittsburgh – but hopefully the Knickerbockers. Taking a page from their rivals in Brooklyn, team Zen Triangle, has signed Derek Fisher, who, last I checked is currently on the OK Thunder roster? Jason Kidd vs Derek FisherI’ve heard of player/coaches, but never have we had a coach playing on one team and coaching another… in another state no less! The Fisher King signs for 5 years and reportedly 25 million… take that Nets! We can over-pay better than YOU!

All kidding aside, Fisher is a high-character guy who has endured  18 years in the NBA and has 5 championship rings with the Lakers. Will this be enough to coach the 2014-15 version of the NY Knicks?  Only time will tell, but  it will take a whole lot of ZEN and multiple triangles to hoist an NBA  Championship banner at the WORLD”S MOST FAMOUS ARENA any time soon.

Potvin SucksAnd overpaying is never a problem for Dolan, and perhaps this wave of his shillelagh will spit some gold… eh… doubt it.  At the very least, he has thrown a potato or two at the Nets psyche, as now “veteran” coach  Jason Kidd will be feeling “disrespected” by his contract  – which is about half of what this FISH will be swimming in. Fisher gets a raise from his playing days and Kidd took a pay cut to break into Prokhorov’s Moscow near the Hudson.

Who do you think will win the hardwood battle of the BIG APPLE? Will Derek and his new Dominoes be singing a happy tune in a few years? Will Phil hang around long enough for this to happen? Will Jason be the winning Kidd in Brooklyn or will he eventually be the head coach of the Knicks? While I would love to continue this story , it’s much too early to speculate the Zen Master’s next move. TO BE Continued.

For something completely different: Act of Contrition by a Horse’s AssSteve Coburn apologized on Good Morning America today to the 10 or 20 people who care.  His post race RANT yielded a TON of sour grapes.  The former pre-race, feel-good story apparently does NOT know how to take defeat with dignity… His fifteen minutes of fame is now officially OVER!

As for our Beloved Br0adway Blues:
-Will Rick Nash be invited to drink from the Cup that Messier drinks from?
-In a upcoming issue, Minature Matt interviews the fan who started the “POTVIN SUCKS” CHANT.

Throw down your opinions and let our band of sportsologists analyze your comments. And come back tomorrow as Angry Ward continues his kinder, gentler commentary.

P.s… The hopes of a city may rely on the slim chance Brad Richards can be a savior.

Islanders In Briefs

P.s.s… The Mets didn’t lose last night, did they?

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About GrindingAx 135 Articles
"Grinding Ax" Walter Hynes (GAW) comes from the same Sports Royalty bloodlines as Short Matt... He's heaving hatchets off the heads of any deserving Sports Personalities... His favorite teams are the NY Rangers, Detroit Tigers, Dallas Cowboys, NY Jets and Manchester United... A suburban husband and father of two, Walter understands what it takes to be a second-guessing, sideline-heckling parent and coach.