Sarah Jessica Parker, MLB Commish Bud Selig and Terry Collins Walk Into a Bar

Why the Long Face?
Why the Long Face?

WHITE HORSE TAVERN –Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks…”Hey, why the long face?”  Yes, you have heard it before, although that’s not bad for a Quadruped. Anyway, we’ve all seen “this one” before and we’ve all seen what’s transpiring in Flushing before, in the Groundhog Day world of sports.

I’m not suggesting that his “11’s” are up, but old man Terry Collins has all but been assured that he will be returning in 2015 to mismanage the New York Mets.  What does this mean for Met fans? Well, go ahead and cue Sonny & Cher‘s “I’ve Got You Babe,” because there is greater meaning to yesterday’s horrific announcement than you can imagine. Collins’ return next year means more of the same from the WilponsAnother year of an $80M team payroll for a team in the largest market in the country. Another year of near .500 ball until the All-Star break only to immediately plunge into their annual death spiral, once the calendar turns to August. Another year of hoarding alleged pitching prospects for a rainy day that never comes.  And another year being survived by Fred Wilpon and the late Saul Katz.

In Major League Baseball’s backroom parlor game, where rich white guys pat each other on the back and aim to keep the status quo, keeping the “Quo,” means the naming of a new MLB Commissioner. Bud Selig, no stranger to corruption-made millions in the Bernie Madoff scam, also [allegedly] made millions for himself and his coterie of rich white weasels when they decided that instead of showing a spine in dealing with Donald Fehr, Gene Orza and the Players Association in 1994, they would turn and cough, Pass Go and collect their “200 bucks.”  cover

For over 25 years, Selig looked the other way while steroids changed the baseball landscape.  He and his owners made a fortune as an entire generation of players exploded in greed making everyone rich. And here’s the thing, there has been a decrease in the numbers of players doing their “cycles.” But it hasn’t been eliminated entirely and they know it. A new even more undetectable synthetic steroid craze has emerged with the blessing of Bud and those wealthy white dudes. In places like Toronto, where Jose Bautista and Edwin Encarnacion are putting up 90’s era big numbers. And in Baltimore, where Nelson Cruz is better than ever.  And in Anaheim, and Chicago and New York and places in between. There is a new wave of PEDS in MLB and no regime change from Selig to Selig’s right hand, A-Rod obsessed Man is going to slow down this new scourge. It’s still out there.

Are yu kiddin' me?
Are yu kiddin’ me?

Selig of course wants his right hand man, Rob Manfred, MLB’s current COO to succeed him as Commish.  He can solidly be counted on to continue the rule of the Milwaukee car salesman with little deviation. There are a few MLB owners who are working to get their choices elected, like White Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf who is pushing former “Roseanne” creator Tom Werner for the role.

Late Mets co-owner Saul Katz
Late Mets co-owner Saul Katz

Here’s the thing though: If Selig is successful in getting his Man-Fred installed, then Met fans can expect at least another 10-15 years of the same old crap we’ve had since at least December of 2008, when Uncle Bernie took the fall for his white guys-the Wilpons. A continuation of the Selig reign of terror means the Mets can continue operating in New York City with one of the sport’s 5 lowest payrolls.  A continuation of Fitty Cent concerts as a means of filling seats. A continuation of 4A players occupying most of the MLB team. A continuation of 74 win seasons and a continuation of lies, incompetence and avarice.

“So put your little hand in mind…”  Groundhog Day, Wilpon Style!

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About Fake Sandy Alderson 175 Articles
Big Al Sternberg/Fake Sandy Alderson is from a not-so-nice part of Queens. But through grit and elbow-grease finds himself living on Long Island with his bride and twin 12-year-old sons. He is a sports encyclopedia... and a loose cannon. In fact, Michael Baron of blocked him on Twitter. You can find The Blocked One's Tweets here: @AldersonFake